PART 8
I woke up early to find Jason standing over me. I jumped, "Ahh!!" I screamed in mock horror, "What a horrible wake up call!"
A smile flickered reluctantly across his face. A grey shadow passed over his eyes and he laughed. I shook my head. I must be still dreaming, I thought, or does his laugh sound forced?
"Hey man, what's wrong", I said lightly, "Heard you moaning and groaning at night, thought you were a ghost, scared the life outta me!"
He jerked back at my words as if I wounded him.
"Hey, it was a joke man, lighten up!" I said frowning.
Jason tried to laugh, but the sound was lifeless. I gave him a funny look. He looked away, fidgeting in his pocket. 'Probably that piece of metal,' I thought.
"Stop acting so sour!" I said, "We'll find a way of this damned desert!"
This time a look of pain crossed his face.
If your type is bad, the design fails. - Jason San...
Visitor running down a dune in Great Sand Dunes Na...
A sand dune in Namibia"Hey man, are you sure you're alright?" I asked looking into his eyes.
"Yeah man!" he said, the pain flashing away, replaced by harsh look, "What made you think that?"
"Nothing..." I replied, deciding to wait for him to tell me instead of forcing it out of him. I knew he'll tell me what's bothering him eventually. I've known him for a long time.
I walked out of the shelter into the morning sun. I walked to Charlie's shelter and could still see her sleeping soundly. I watched her and smiled, remembering the fun we've had working together. 'Now it s over!' I thought bitterly. Her good hand was resting underneath her bandaged one, and ever so often I would see her wince in her sleep. Jason came behind me. He put an arm on my shoulder and I...
Sci Fi Part 8
I liked the humor with which you began this eighth part of your science fiction series. With such a tension filled story, a bit of comic relief can be a welcome change of pace. The dialogue remains quite realistic.
I also liked how you added a bit of mystery to this part by describing the claw marks on the side of the downed spaceship. An equally intriguing mystery is why Jason wheeled Charlie to the site of the wrecked spaceship and why Bryan couldn't locate them once he got there.
Mystery along with science fiction can be a potent combination. You have certainly demonstrated that in your multi-part series and I am looking forward to Part 9 to learn how some of the mysteries might begin to be resolved.
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