An African proverb states.
"Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry,
close one eye."
Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't
let lust,desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a
low-self esteem make you blind to warning signs.
Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change
someone or that what you see as faults aren't really that important.
Once you decide to commit to someone, over time their flaws,
vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more
If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve,
you've got to learn how to close one eye and not let every little
You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional
needs, values,dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. You are two unique
individual children of God who have decided to share a life together.
Neither of you is perfect, but are you perfect for each other? Do
you bring out the best in each other?
Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you
compete,compare, and control?
What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past
relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?
You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or her. You can't
make someone love you or make someone stay. If you develop
spiritual discernment, and "a life," you won't find yourself making
someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your
Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are not
the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting
Seeking status, sex, wealth and security are the wrong reasons to
be in a relationship.
What keeps a relationship strong?
Communication, intimacy, trust, a sense of humor, sharing household