Dear Diary,Today, after school, Natalie France invited me to her house for a tea party with my other classmates. I declined her generous offer because my beloved Robert is visiting again. Robert and I always play Tarzan together, but how can I ever tell Natalie that I was rejecting her little tea party for a boy game instead? Natalie and her big mouth would tell the whole school! It would be such a horrendous disaster! This would destroy my future social life! Therefore, instead, I told Natalie that I am giving etiquette lessons for the needy, and it is called Sophisticated Lady. I swear this is true! Well, partly. Jane does teach Tarzan manners and English, as I am teaching Robert! The school could see Robert as a cannibal as far as I'm concerned. Tarzan is almost a cannibal anyways.
When I got home, I quickly changed into my swimsuit.
It was tough choosing from either my pink swimsuit, or my green swimsuit. In the end, I decided to wear the green one, as Robert already saw me in my pink suit yesterday. Then, I went to my cradle (toy box) to wake up baby Jubba the monkey. When I got to the cradle, JUBBA WAS MISSING! Jubba is the second most important part of our Tarzan game! He is our baby, and Robert and I are supposed to look after him! I searched the whole house! And guess where I found Jubba? He was sleeping in the laundry basket! My MOTHER, oh my goodness, wanted to give baby Jubba a shower! Oh c'mon! Tarzan and I are perfectly capable of looking after our own child thank you very much! Jubba does not need another shower. Tarzan and I give Jubba bubble baths everyday.
At 3 o'clock sharp, he came. Robert climbed up our Jacaranda tree, and did his Tarzan jungle cry. Oh, I absolutely love it when he does that. Again, Robert wore his PE shorts, showing his chest. People like Johnny Weissmuller more than they like Lex Barker, but I think Robert is by far the most masculine Tarzan I have ever seen. And I, Noeleen Ivimey, am the best Jane there is.
I walked into the garden with baby Jubba, and Robert crawled to me with a bouquet of flowers (and twigs and leaves)! But that is still very sweet of him! I climbed up the Jacaranda tree with Robert, and we started cooking. I am always in charge of stirring the pot, and Tarzan always hunts for food. Today, Tarzan brought back a big branch he found, and I cooked dinner. Then it was time to give Jubba a bubble bath! Tarzan found a giant puddle while hunting today, so we went there to wash Jubba. Jubba was soaking wet after the bath, I think the mud from the puddle is good for his skin.
Then, it was the kissing part of the game. Again, I stood on one side of the yard, and Robert stood on the other. I called out, "Tarzan! Tarzan!" and he called, "Jane! Jane!" Then I ran as fast as I could towards Robert, with my arms out flung, as if the vines, rivers and wild beasts from the jungle did not exist. BANG! Tarzan and I had a jarring impact, and again, we kissed on the mouth. We always kiss; it is the most important part of the game. Today, after kissing, my lips felt very sore, as though it was bleeding. I guess this is why people say love hurts.
Today was another great day. I am glad I did not go to Natalie France's tea party. Tomorrow, I must tell Rosalie about Robert and our little game! She must be so jealous!Bibliography: no sources used The Shark Net, Robert Drewe