It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, it was just sat in the window, gleaming, glinting, and- actually it wasnÃÂt thoughs words at all, it was much better than any words. No words could really describe it, not in this world anyway. It was white and crisp, like a real angels outfit. I think i have fallen in love!Get a life Charmaine; it is never going to happen. I am so stupid; I go off to dream land, falling in love with a wedding dress, who does that? Well i just did, it was stunning though. I WANT THAT DRESS!I suppose I should explain, I donÃÂt know who to though, but I am sure the paper will want to know. I am Charmaine Darden; I am a business woman in New York. I like to think I am very successful, I donÃÂt really do much at work really I just delegate, but I get a lot of money for it, so I am not complaining.
I donÃÂt really know how i got the job in the first place, but hey. What else does the paper need to know? I am 27. I am currently 11 stone 2 pounds! I am writing a diary as my counsellor thinks i am stressed and writing down all my emotions will help, blah blah blah. But as you can see i thought i would give it a try. Might be fun, you never know. Talking to paper. That makes me sound even madder. Oh well.
More information about me might be helpful i suppose, I am single, have being for ages. My favourite food is Chinese; i donÃÂt know why i just like it. My favourite drink is vodka and tonic, well it is but my favourite soft drink is starbucks frappuccino, they are to die for. I donÃÂt really listen to music, so i canÃÂt tell you anything about that. I donÃÂt know what else to write about me, you will have to work it out.
I just passed it; it was in the window of the shop, in my favourite mall. I love shopping; i spend money like it is going out of fashion. O by the way i am talking about the dress; you know the one i was talking about earlier. I want that dress, but i am single, i wonder if they will still have it in store in like a million years time, when i find Mr Right. I doubt it. I might have to go back tomorrow and just try it on; i wonder if there is matching shoes. I bet they are gorgeous as well. I need to stop thinking about a wedding dress. It is 10.30 at night and all i can think of is a dress, i am normally in bed by 10.
Sorry, i just day dreamed of, i was thinking of the lucky people who have someone to snuggle up to on nights like this. It is really chilly tonight, i have the curtains open next to me, i was looking out in to the busy street outside, it was still busy at 10.30 you would think the city would die down at night, but no the city never sleeps. The window is steamed up now, so i canÃÂt see anything. I am going to bed now it is late, cold and i am tired. Good night paper.
Good morning paper. Haha i make myself laugh. I donÃÂt know about you. If i find a couple of hours free today i am going to go shopping again, spend a little more money. I also have a appointment with my counsellor, she wants to see how i am getting on with my diary. I think i am doing quite well.
She wants me to write a bit more about men and sex, she thinks that is what my life lacks, i donÃÂt think so. In fact i find that quite offending. She also wants me to try and go out a bit more. Actually just about a month ago, i went to an old friends wedding, and went back to this guyÃÂs apartment. Well i was quite drunk, so i donÃÂt really remember going to this guyÃÂs apartment. But i do remember waking up his in his bed, quite comfy actually. He was nice he made me breakfast and then i left, i havenÃÂt heard anything from him since. Oh my gosh a month ago. That was a long time. I wonder. Please no. I will keep writing later, i have just got to pop out. To the chemist.
Just got back from the chemist, but just got call from work, got to go in for a couple of hours. I think i will just wait and do the test when i get back, i have never done one before and i donÃÂt know how long it will take. I donÃÂt really want to know the answer, to be honest.
At work now, delegating. I love my job, i love my job. I wish i had done that test, i want to know the answer now, i canÃÂt bare the suspension. Right i will continue writing when i get home, the quicker i get on with everything the quicker i can get home.
At home and guess what? I am waiting for the pregnancy test to give me my results; i am scared but excited to. What happens if i am pregnant? My job, how would i have a job and baby? Being a single mum, i donÃÂt think i could get rid of a baby. Have an abortion i mean. I couldnÃÂt do it. I will have to try and find the father, i think his name was Cameron, no no thatÃÂs not it, Carl, yer that sounds a bit better. Right two minutes is up, this could change my life. Good luck to me.
I am i floods of tears, but i donÃÂt know if they are tears of happiness or sadness. I am pregnant, i am excited, scared, and just every emotion you can think of. Now what shall i do. I suppose i should pay Carl a visit. What shall i say, oh my gosh i donÃÂt know. I will find his number in the phone book and ring him, what shall i say. Hang on going to find the phone book. Found it. His name isnÃÂt Carl it is Carlton Pierce, i knew it was something like that. Right it is ringing, please donÃÂt pick up.
We are meeting in Starbucks tomorrow at 2, i couldnÃÂt tell him over the phone, bit mean as he hardly knows me. And i suppose now we are at least going to have to be friends. He seemed nice. Right i am going to have an evening in front of the telly, so i can think, and relax, and work out what i am going to say to Carlton.
Up bright and early, it is 6.30, unlike me, oh well. I decided i am defiantly not getting rid of this baby, i can not kill it, it would be mean. It isnÃÂt its fault it has been made in one night. I have got a few savings that i suppose i can spare. Right i am just going to work early, i canÃÂt be sat here doing nothing, it is scaring me.
At work trying to be busy, but all i can think about is the little body being made in my body. I was even looking up the symptoms of pregnancy, it says at about 4 or 5 weeks some women get morning sickness, i hope i donÃÂt get that.
It is now 1.30, so i am just packing up to leave; i want to be early so it doesnÃÂt look bad. I will tell you what happens when i get home.
He is lovely, i told him and he asked me what i wanted to do, and i said i wanted to keep, he said he would support me all the way. Do you think there is such a thing as love at second sight? Because i now think i am in love with him. I scare my self, but he is perfect. He is gorgeous, has a good dress sense, he is clever and in a good job. And what more he says he will support me with our baby. I am watching the Simpsons at home, i am so sad. I donÃÂt care i am so happy, be right back phone ringing.
It was him, he asked me out for tea tomorrow night, we are going to the posh Chinese restaurant a couple of streets away, he choose it. He told me Chinese was his favourite, and asked me if it was ok and he would understand if i just wanted to get a pizza or something. But i said that Chinese was fine. I am so excited. What am i going to wear? I canÃÂt wear my work stuff as that is really formal, and i donÃÂt really want to wear my at home tracky bottoms, i donÃÂt really own any other types of clothes, i have posh clothes that i like wear to weddings and what not, but nothing really that i can go to a date in. I must go shopping tomorrow. I have got work from 1-4 so i will have to go before that, but i have got to meet my counsellor at 12 for half an hour so before that to. Sorted. It is only 8 oÃÂclock, but i am going to bed, i am knackered, and secretly i want tomorrow to come sooner.
Good morning, i have just got out of the shower, in was in there for ages, i sugared my legs and plucked my eyebrows, and painted my finger nails. I am so excited, i feel like i am a little school girl waiting for her first date. I just want tonight to come, but i know the day is going to go really slowly.
I wish my mother was alive, i could share the news with her, she would probably of bought loads of clothes by now, she loves babies, it is time like this that i miss her. Still when she was dying she told never to let her death upset me, it does but i do try not to let it. I miss my mum, very much, she died of cancer, a couple of years ago, i never had any brothers or sister, and i have never known my dad, and i donÃÂt want to. This subject is not even ruining my good mood, normally talking about my family upsets me, but not today. Right i am going shopping, to get something nice, i might even go and see if i can have my hair done.
Just waiting to go and see my counsellor, i had a great shopping trip, i brought some lush jeans that really show of my bum, i hope they donÃÂt look to sluty. I donÃÂt think they will, i will ask my counsellor. Right my time to go in now, speak later if i have time.
I am at home now; i have my hair in rollers, for maximum bouncabilty. I got half an hour till i have to leave, i am so scared, i hope all goes ok. I will write what happens later, because i am so nervous i have got to find something to do.
O my god it was the best night of my life, he told me when he saw me, the morning i left his house, that he thought he had feelings for me, but he didnÃÂt want to get hold of me, because he didnÃÂt think one drunken night meant anything. He is really happy i decided to keep the baby, so we can get closer, i canÃÂt believe it the man i like; actually likes me back. I am so excited, i feel bubbly, and young again. We are going out again tomorrow night as well. He also told me i look stunning. It is ages since i had a compliment like that. I am going to sleep as i am knackered, but i have such a buzz. Night.
It is 6 oÃÂclock; i am not getting on very well with my diary now i have other things on my mind. Well it is bright and early, i feel like going jogging round the park, proves how good i feel about myself. I feel on top of the world, i donÃÂt think anything could knock me of my high horse. I am seriously in love, i didnÃÂt think it was possible, it was the luck of the paper i think. I canÃÂt believe something like this has happened to me, i thought it only happened in fairy tales. Right i am going for a bath, my tummy actually hurts.
I fell asleep in the bath, i didnÃÂt feel tired at all, but i still fell asleep, stupid hormones. It is now nearly 9. Ah getting late i got to be at work in an hour, i feel like shit i just want to go to bed. I still in good mood though. Door buzzer going, be right back.
Ok i wasnÃÂt right back, because now it is 6 oÃÂclock in the evening, do you want to know who was at the door, it was Carlton, firstly he gave me a cuddle. Then we sat on the sofa and talked, i then realised it was 9.50, Carlton told me i should tell work i was pregnant so they would understand if i wanted days of, so i did, and told them i wouldnÃÂt be in today. Carlton also got the day of work; do you know what happened then? He proposed to me. He did i am not even joking. He had a very expensive looking ring, and he asked me to marry him, he said ÃÂoh there is something i need to ask you, i know it is soon but i truly have fallen deeply in love with you, will you marry me? It seems right as you are carrying my baby.ÃÂ I was speechless, it went silent, i answered yes, and then we kissed. It is quite soon, but i think i have made the right decision. I hope!After that we went in to town, looking at baby stuff, we have bought a push chair, and a cot. We were also talking about moving in together. I wish my mum was here. He said i can move into his terrace house, but i love my apartment, it has taken me years to get it how i wanted it. I donÃÂt know what i want to do, he said he would move in with me, and then maybe rent his place out. I donÃÂt know. He asked me if i want the wedding before or after the baby, or he said i could have it while i have a bump. He said he would like it as soon as possible, because he doesnÃÂt want his baby born with out its parents being married. I feel that way to. When we got back from shopping we rang up the local registry office, and they said there only space is in 2 weeks or in 4 months. I donÃÂt want it when i have a bump. So we decided in 2 weeks. I know it is soon, but i want it to happen so badly. I also rang up my boss and got two weeks of work, he said he would only let me have it of if his was invited, he called in the wedding of the world. I feel like it is to. I am so excited. I really canÃÂt wait. So much has happened in so little time.
I am going to bed now it is 9.30 and i have had a busy day, Carlton said he will come round in the morning with some of his essentials, to stay and look after me; i even gave him my spare key. You probably think i am bonkers, but i trust him. So good night lucky paper.
Guess who just woke me up with roses, frappuccino, and waffles. I love him, he is so sweet, i am still sat in bed, and he is sorting out all my washing up, as i couldnÃÂt be bothered to do it last night. We are going wedding shopping today again; we need to get the invites sorted.
While we were in town, we passed my dress, i had forgotten about it. Carlton said i had to sort out my own dress; he wanted it to be a surprise, so while he was looking at suits i quietly sneaked in and tried the dress on. It made my bump look quite big, but i liked it. So guess what i did i bought it. My dream dress is now mine, and i am wearing it to my wedding in 2 weeks time. All my dreams have come true. I know my mum is looking down on me.