As the sun slowly started to fall in 1987, I waited impatiently for the bell to ring, tickÃ¢ÂÂ¦.tickÃ¢ÂÂ¦..tickÃ¢ÂÂ¦..ring! I quickly ran out of school all the way home, I ran until my legs were begging for mercy like dogs begging for food. I ran until my lungs were just about to blow up. I ignored the disturbing smell of smoke that was looming in the streets in Broken Hill. The traffic was louder than it usually was, this time it actually had a car to accompany the lonely road today. The sun was a beaming torch, melting into a single puddle. I opened the door to my pigsty and muttered 'hi' to mum as I stormed to my bedroom and sobbed on the bed. I fished out my worn-out diary and as I was reading, tears dripped down my rough face like raindrops.
Ã¢ÂÂ¦Ã¢ÂÂ¦.I was walking down the street today, feeling excellent.
I was glowing with glee, thinking about my friends, my overflowing popularity, but then that smile morphed into a frown. Why have they been so quiet and timid lately? Why haven't they been socializing with me? I tried to rack my brain for answers but as I was thinking, my 'former friends' confronted me with a solemn look on their faces. Suddenly everything went gloomy." Clive, we have something to tell you" my old buddy Redford mumbled with fear crawling all over his white, ghostly face. That fear instantly ran away and along came a brave face. " The gang thinks that you are actually decreasing our popularity so beat it! You've turned into a real freak, and your actually turning into a nerd! SO DON'T BE OUR FRIEND ANYMORE!'Ã¢ÂÂ¦. I continued to sob as I thought of that horrid day. I knew I had to win my friends back but how? I adjusted my glasses and I knew in my head that this isn't going to be easy.
The next day I waited patiently in heaven's playground looking for the other kids. It was time to commence the difficultÃ¢ÂÂ¦Operation Make Some Friends. Slowly I waddled like a penguin to a bunch of playful kids. I watched in immense jealousy as I saw the kids laughing and playing in harmony, kicking a ball, pushing each other on the swing and as I watched I sighed with major disappointmentÃ¢ÂÂ¦ I was once like that. I noticed a little girl happily kicking a ball by herself against the so-called 'Loner Wall' and as I was watching her I saw her kick it in the old, wet willow tree and I realised that this was my opportunity to make a friend. I sprinted as fast as a cheetah and climbed the tree and reached out to the small, pink ball. I grabbed the ball and through it down straight into the little, furry girl's arms. As I slowly climbed down that slippery tree the girl walked up to me and said thank you and walked off. My stomach sank below my knees.
That night I was kicking myself in mental pain going over what I did wrong. I could of ran faster, I should of thrown it more straight. I knew it wasn't my fault but it felt like it was. Suddenly I thought that I should just give up and accept the fact that I would just never fit into this cruel, cruel world.
The morning air finally revived my happiness again but I knew that I would have to attend school today. I have finally started to dislike school even more every single day and school started to dislike me more every single day. Every single day I would try to fit in and every single day I would fail. I've tried the jocks, the populars, the nerds, the goths and even every single loner but they all would reject me. I fetch them soda, give them answers, follow every dare but in the end they just tell me to scamper away. It seemed that the only friend that I have is a feeling, Loneliness.
I decided that It was hopeless, I should just run off with Loneliness into the wilderness were nobody can reject me or be mean to me. At least I've learnt one thing from this. That you never know what your going to do or what happens to you unless you try. It's just going to be me, Loneliness and the world of an Outcast.