Stolen Narrative - Lezlee Cruises with Chad

Essay by katyvereenUniversity, Bachelor'sA-, February 2007

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Born in the stagnant swamplands of Southern Louisiana, Lezlee Boudreaux quickly learned that her only way out of Crae Butte, LA was marriage. Similar a to well-written country song, Lezlee found herself pregnant and on her way to the altar. Luckily, Lezlee's one night stand happened to be with Lieutenant Governor Hattie's only son. Although she was married to one of the richest families in Jackson Parrish, Lezlee knew her place in the family hierarchy and it was certainly scraping bottom.

To the members of the community, she was the perfect trophy wife; thanks to the fabricated past masterminded by her mother-in-law, Blythe Myrtle Hattie. Lezlee had a style that was considered "inferior" most standards, often too "sultry" and decidedly "inappropriate." To cope with her unhappy marriage and family life, Lezlee used her attractive, lean tan body, long blonde curls, and Pepto Bismol lips to ensure that she was the only thing on every mans' mind when she entered the room, married or not.

To her social circle, this proved the point that money cannot be equated with class.

After several years of an unhappy marriage, two of Lezlee's most endearing friends arranged a three day cruise in order to try to get Lezlee to leave her alcoholic, workaholic husband. A woman's retreat of sorts that could be used for "testing the waters" as one those friends so purposely stated. Of course looking back and reading between the lines, it's safe to presume this was because they too were probably after her husband for themselves. The cruise after all was a singles cruise and Lezlee certainly was indeed not single, yet.

Although Lezlee's marriage stayed on the rocks, she always remained loyal, knowing where her meal ticket came from. Little did she know, this would soon change. The first night on the ship, Lezlee met what she believed to be the most charming man, named Chad. Chad had those physical traits women often desire, relatively tall, good looking, and an olive colored skin tone. He also had an intoxicating aroma, a mans scent, not one easily duplicated; it was a distinctive smell that reminded her of a mixture of oak aged bourbon and Louisiana Dogwood. His drawl was most decidedly southern, with an uneducated tone that reminded her of kinfolk back in Crae Butte.

With the persistence of her friends she accepted Chad's invitation to dine on the ship's fine cuisine, have cocktails under the moonlit sky, with finally ending up in his room for a nightcap. Throughout the night, Lezlee kept throwing back Jack Daniel's miniatures. She drank them like water, being it was the only alcohol she could sneak on the ship and drink quickly hiding them from her friends, to try to numb the pain of the unhappy marriage she carried with her.

By the time they reached the door to Chad's room, Lezlee was extremely drunk, so much so she didn't realize what a complete prick Chad was. Of course that's the type of man her demeanor always attracts. The trophy wife's role is typecast. Only good for two things: looking good and making others jealous. Chad knew that she was married. She had the full diamond encrusted regatta of a wedding ring, engagement ring, tennis bracelet, necklace, earrings, and of course a pierced navel.

The following morning, Lezlee quietly escaped Chad's fuck sanctuary and met her two girlfriends for breakfast. Lezlee's friends immediately berated her and began asking how Lezlee could "sleep with a man like that Chad", "cheat on her loving husband," and be "downright deceptive and virile." Much to Lezlee's surprise, she then asked, "what do you mean, a man like that? I thought you both agreed I should go for it." The girls then recounted horrific stories of Chad swearing profusely, shoving the waiter into the pool, and then last but not least, walking up to a group of bachelorettes in the casino, asking if they'd like to see his Arkansas "hog sausage," then whipping out his penis wagging it around like a dog's tail. Lezlee gasped! She thought to herself, "was I that drunk last night, oh my god did anyone see me with him, why did my girlfriends allow me to be put in such a position?" The next thing she knew, Chad placed his hands on her shoulder and kissed her blush colored cheek. For a moment Lezlee thought, "What a typical man, just another cock trying to get in the fucking hen house. What a bunch of bitches my supposed friends are for setting me up."

Then, something came over Lezlee. She abruptly stood, proceeded to grab his "hog sausage," and screamed, "I am better then this cocktail size weenie." She twisted on his genitals as he was begging for her release. Chad yelped in a garbled voice "I respect you, I am sorry, I am sorry!" With the release of her death grip Chad scurried off scared shitless, embarrassed with a bruised ego. With the utmost poise she could muster, she sat down and pulled out her fingernail file. The everyday beauty accessory was now being used in threatening motion, with its metallic sliver emery board gleaming; she gently rounded out each fingernail one at a time with a jabbing motion, calmly stating that the two were to "never speak" of the incident with Chad again. The message was clear.

Lezlee kept her drinking in check for the two next days on the trip. She now assumed that she knew what her friends' motives were for bringing her on the trip. Lezlee might have never been the best student but she certainly knew how cunning and manipulative women can be. The two girls never spoke of her infidelity, scared themselves how far Lezlee would go to retaliate. They learned quickly that the naïve looking girl from Crae Butte had a tough hardened inner self that you didn't fuck with and certainly could take care of herself.

This is purely fictional no sources were used for bibliography.