1. Upon a time there lived a homely hog woman, and her three straplings. They lived in a bare brush hut in
the forest, and they did live in squalor, and they were tortured by many hooligans and wild beasts.
2. On one day, a wolf came to pester forsooth. And he did huff and he did blow, and he did blow yon pighut
down. The hog woman did send her young into the wilderness to escape the beast, and they did so. Thus the wolf did
eat the poor hog woman.
3. Thus the three pigs were sent into the world to fend hunger, and thirst, and cold. The pig of lineage
closest to the hag pig, did set himself apart from his brother and went his merry way. The next oldest pig set himself
apart from his next of kin, and went on his own way. The youngest pig did build a hut of grass.
The middle child did
make a hut of sticks, and he could be seen in the distance carrying a fagot across his back. The third and oldest pig
did build a house of bricks for he did know much about architecture.
4. The wolf did look upon these happenings with slavering jowls, and dripping snout. How did resolve to
blow down these lodgings and gobble the inhabitants on the morrow. And on that morn, he blew upon the hut of
straw, and he did gobble the pig into quivering chunks. Then he went to the house that beheld the second pig, And he
did blow it down, and he did devour the pigeon inside. When he got to the third house, the Great Pig Snortimer was
awaiting him. This was the last and oldest pig, and he did wield a great Claymore sword. With one chop the pig did
lop off the head of the evil wolf, and blood did steam and there was much rejoicing. Then the remains of digested pig
did ooze out of the cut. The Great Pig Snortimer did apply healing herbs to the chunks of pig, and the pigs were
restored, and there was much rejoicing.
5. Thus the pigs did wallow and rejoice in the blood of the wolf, and they did rest in the house of the Great
Pig Snortimer for the rest of their days.