The Story of your Life

Meaning... What is meaning? There is no meaning to this life. Tell me, why must we all search for significance, when meaning simply doesn't exist? If one must seek meaning to a life that simply defines reproduction, endless mistakes and death, what is the importance? Now bear with me, as I start the story of your life at....... Nine months onwards, your recently married parents rush to the nearest private hospital in their polished Mercedes. Whilst being prodded with rather cold, foreign objects, your mother refuses to remove her thirty-nine carat wedding band, lined with expensive diamonds. "TOP OF THE RANGE DIAMONDS!" she shouts, as the nurses back off, and leave the highly paid doctors to deliver your unborn self. And at last, after twenty-two hours of painful screaming, a few smashed objects, and a dangerously large overdose of epidural, you popped out into this world with no meaning.

On your second birthday, hundreds of fur coats and black hats line the walls of the foyer.

English: Ralph Lauren getting in his orange Porsch...

cheeses

A dish of baked beans over scrambled eggs on toast...

Women holding children and men dressed neatly in their black business suits, flood the area of your downstairs living room. Your cheeks are red raw from acrylic nails squeezing your oh so adorable

face and at the age of two, your toes throb and you're horrified by the

sight of bacon, after haunting episodes of 'this little piggy went to market'. Propped up on your father's black leather armchair, surrounded by wrapped gifts twice your size, you are unable to escape through the doggy door, as your infant mind has not yet discovered the ability to run.

On your very first day of primary school, roughly around the age of six, your mother parks outside the most expensive private school in the state, with a name such as 'Our Lady of the Rosary college'...