Reality, the most atrocious phenomenon: the desire for happiness, the yearning to fit in. The unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind. These cravings cling to me like cobwebs, horrid thoughts of the past return and force me into a distorted state, where I have a place in the heart of a man, where the past doesn't matter; for I am in the arms of trust.
I have sought love, for it brings security "ÃÂ security so great that nothing else matters. I would sacrifice all the perfumes of Arabia to be held by a man of true love. Without the lies, the fables, but instead: the truth. A man who could love thee for the sake of love, not thy age, not thy past.
With equal passion I have sought wealth. I have wished to understand the effect of money, for I suppose it's the money that changes the man.
I have had many fantasies over the love of my life, Mr. Shep Huntleigh of Dallas. I often wonder how the money could change our future together.
Love and wealth, so far as they were possible, led upwards towards the heavens. But always reality brought me back to earth. A warm session of hydrotherapy always calms me down after I am hit with reality.