Tear's That Fall
Suicide is a hard topic to write about. I've felt, Stress, No attention, I don't feel important, been abused, and I'm not happy. I've been there and thought about suicide. But someone gave me hope. I still get depressed. When I get depressed. Its usually caused by me thinking about things, like the past. Life is not easy at all. Well it may be easy for the people who are rich or have a mother and father who love them and love each other.
I guess the most part of my depression is because of my father. He does not care at all. Part of the reason I live with my grandma now. May be the other reason is because my mother left when I was little. And never saw her after that. The only memory I have of her is when she slapped my hand.
The other reason could be because I miss my grandpa. He died from cancer.
I didn't even get to say goodbye. He got the cancer from Vietnam fields. It was all over his body. I remember the days before he passed away. It was like he was in a deep sleep. I remember siting by the bed, talking to him even though he couldn't hear me. I remember coming home and him being gone.
I remember seeing him in the coffin. I remember them folding the flag and giving it to my grandma. I remember crying for the rest of the week. But I do remember all the good times we had together. My grandpa was more of a father than my real father. In my eyes my father doesn't even deserve to be called a father. Everyone that knows him knows that he does not care at all.
The thing that makes me angry I better not put here. Because it's between my grandma and my father. I wish he would go away. He's hit me before because I told my brother about his problem. Or maybe it was the reason why my mother left. I don't trust him. I have no feelings but angry for him. I think that everyone is going to have bad times in their life. But some are not as bad as what some of us go though. Everyone will lose some someone they love, sooner or later. Some may get over it some will not.
I've thought real hard about suicide, and decided it's not the answer. Life moves on, get out there, don't care about what other people think, its you're life. Think about the people who DO care about you or love you. Think about how they would feel. NO matter how lost, sad, mistreated, bullied, you are, Suicide is NEVER the answer to stop all of it!