I don't know anymore. I'm stuck in this big grey waiting room of life and honestly, I don't know if I want to move, but I don't want to stay either.
Behind me, the pastel colored door covered with stickers of cartoon characters leads to the past. But I can't go back. As much as I may want to, it's just not possible. It is extremely appealing with its carefree playing and no fear on the other side. But the harder I try to get closer to that door, the farther away it moves. I appreciate all that lies beyond that door, more now than I ever have. I may have sprinted as fast as I could down that hallway to get to here, but now I would give anything to be able to go back and leisurely make my way down that hall, taking in as much as I can.
I understand why I can't; to go back now would just spoil the memories. Nothing is ever the same twice, and if I were to go back now, I would notice things I didn't see or understand the first time, things that would taint the sweet memories.
Ahead of me is a black ominous door. I don't want to go to it, but there is an overpowering force dragging me towards it. I don't know what it holds on the other side, and I'm not sure I want to know. I know it has to do with the future, my future, but with that future comes responsibility and uncertainty. I don't know if I can handle that. The scariest thing to me is the unknown, and the future, my future, falls into that category.
For now, I am stuck here in this grey waiting room. I'm not a...