Will there ever be peace between israel and palestine? (a position paper with a biography)

This essay is poorly written. I do not say this because I disagree with the position being presented in this paper (which I do), but because there are a number of grammatical mistakes. For example, one should never refer to himself or say "you" when writing an essay. So instead of saying "As you will find.." one should say "As one will find..".

On September 5, 1972, PLO terrorists murdered eleven Israeli athletes at the Olympic games in Munich, Germany (Silverman 90). Once again, issues between the Israelis and Arabs were unresolved. Just one month later, on October 5, following those horrific events in Munich, the new Egyptian President, Anwar Sadat, attacked Israel. Syria, not wanting to be left out, aided the attack on Israel on October 6, 1973.


In 1976, Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin ordered an invasion of several Arabic nations, which resulted in the rescue of over a hundred Israeli hostages, who had been hijacked and held by Palestinian terrorists at the airport at Entebbe, Uganda.


******* My comment


I stated that this essay was poorly written but only cited one example. Look at the above passages to find more. In an essay, one is supposed to be objective and allow readers to form their own opinions. In this essay, the author describes the killings of the 11 athletes 'horrific' (which I personally believe they were). The author is not supposed to give their opinion about a matter unless the essay is meant to be persuasive. If it is a persuasive essay, than I apologize.


On another note, the author says that "Syria did not want to be left out". This is very amateur in style- you cannot make an assumption that Syria attacked Israel merely because they did not want to be left out. This is one of the most ridiculous claims I've ever read in an essay.


Also, the author says Rabin order attacks on "Arabic" nations. There are no Arabic nations. Arabic is a spoken language- it's not a nationality or an ethnic group. The proper terminology/description is ARAB. Calling Arab nations Arabic is analagous to calling South American nations Spanish. It is incorrect and automatically discredits the author.


I could cite more examples, but my life actually does consist of more than responding to insulting posts on essay sites.

In addition, one cannot hijack a person. One can hijack a plane that a person is on, however. Yet another grammatical error that makes this essay poorly written.

You did not directly respond to my comment. Do you realize the foolishness of your original comment, based on the fact that "you" was a completely correct usage? If so, you owe the author of this essay an apology. You cannot comb through the essay to discover minor erors in an attempt to save face once you have already proven yourself to be intellectually dishonest by posting a comment that was clearly biased. Poorly written!? If we applied your alleged writing standard to all papers equally, we could solve the debate over grade inflation immediately!!

Again- It is clearly inappropriate to call this paper poorly written, and I think you know that, despite any comments you may post.

Note: If you feel you must respond to this, do so properly. Apologize to Stephan.

Funny you should be the one critical of other users' grammar. Your work does not approach either this level of scholarship nor this lively writing style. Your attempt to belittle this essay by mentioning petty NON-EXISTENT grammatical errors is offensive to the author of this essay. It is apparent that you simply read the first few lines of the essay and then made your attempt at discrediting a paper that you knew was intellectually impeccable. If you would have actually bothered to try to comprehend what you read, then you would have seen that the use of the word 'you' is contained within a quotation!

(After my comment, I think you'll understand that your comment about impartiality is plainly false, too. Just a heads up)