To: My dear wife Mrs. Gates Being here is torture. I can't even feel my own heath all I feel is pain. My arms are so stiff, and my legs are week and brittle my stomach is sore and head is heavy. I don't know how much longer I can fight. Sometimes I feel like taking my riffle, putting it up to my head and pulling the trigger, but then that would mean I failed my mission to fight for our country. Everywhere I turn I see dead bodies, I don't know if I will survive through this war. The rats here are horrible they're so huge and only come out at night. They look like little devils waiting to feed on the dead.
I have never killed a man since now, Will god forgive me? Does he understand it's for the good of the nation? Even if he does forgive me I don't think I could forgive myself.
Many men have dead from the hands of me, If I don't take them out they will take me out. Watching someone die was the hardest thing I've ever had to, but now its like a bad routine.
At night all I can hear is the screaming of the wounded and dieing soldiers, the loud bombs going off and the noise of running. I try and close my eyes to sleep and all I can see are the men I murdered trying to plead with me. Am i going crazy? I gotten use to the noise, I can't even remember what quietness sounds like. I will never get use to the smell, I don't even know the last time I've had a shower. The smell here is worst then a house full of rotten cheese and milk.
All we eat here...