Two-person Disputes

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TWO-PERSON DISPUTES By Carl Rogers SUMMARY This topic identified certain common elements when persons are in serious discord which includes: 1. Difference in opinion: In such a dispute there is no doubt at all but that I am right and you are wrong. I am on the side of the angles, and you belong with the forces of darkness.

2. Breakdown of communication: You do not hear what I say, in any understanding way; and I am unwilling and unable to hear what you are really saying.

3. Distortions in perception: The evidence which is taken in by my senses - your words, your actions, your responses to my words and actions - is trimmed and shaped by my needs to fit the views of you which I already hold. Evidence which is clearly and openly contradictory to my rigidly held views is conveniently ignored or made acceptable by being grossly distorted.

4. Implicit in all: This is the element of distrust. While whatever I do is obviously done with honorable intent, whatever you do is equally obviously done with an underlying evil intent, no matter how sweetly reasonable it may appear on the surface.

To be progress in reducing this kind of tension, the first necessity is a facilitative listener "“ a person who will listen empathetically and will understand the attitudes of each disputant.

CONCEPT & ANALYSIS The author believes in any serious two-person dispute, certain elements, which include difference in opinion, breakdown of communication, distortions in perception and distrust, are invariably present and often make the situation appear hopeless.

Pro In many disputes, people argue because there is a breakdown of communication or mistake in perception. In this kind of situation disputes can be solved by sending and receiving message. This theory can help us to solve disputes without conflict because it described the common elements which caused disputes. To solve the disputes, we can categorize the dispute to find which element caused the disputes and then try to remove the factor caused the disputes.

Con In author's points of view, reducing this kind of tension, the first necessity is a facilitative listener "“ a person who will listen empathetically and will understand the attitudes of each disputant. However it is often difficult to solve a dispute if each disputant has strong opinion and strong personality. At this time a third person should not only be a listener but also be a judge.