The Untold Story of Theseus
The road ran along the edge of the cliff above the burning blue sea. Theseus turned a bend in the road and saw a man sitting on a rock. The man held a great battle-ax in his hand; he was so large that the ax seemed like a hatchet.
Before the enormous man could say a thing, a thunderous voice shook the cliffs. The projected voice was heard to say, 'Bumble Bee Tuna, Look to la Luna.' Suddenly, Theseus disappeared in a flash of blue light.
This is all I can tell you for I know no more. You shall have to ask the spirit of Theseus to continue...
(The spirit of Theseus Speaks)
'I found myself in a dark place void of any light. I spent very little time in this manner. The dark place was soon illuminated by two men with fire sticks, that gave white light in stead of yellow.'
'These men that shone their fire sticks at me were dressed strangely; all in blue. They spoke in an unfamiliar tong and shoved myself into what I could only describe at the time as a horseless chariot.'
'After many days there slow minds concluded that I was a stranger in this land, and sent me to this house with many other young men my age.'
'Many moons have passed. Over this time I was taught their language and concepts. I found that they call themselves Americans, more specifically 'Michiganders'. I have always been quick to learn and they labeled me as an adequate student. Me. Theseus. Son of Poseidon. Labeled as adequate? Sheeeshh. Anyway, I was told that tomorrow I would be going to a 'High School', specificly, Nth grade.'
'High school was...