War Photographer How does it feel to come home to your Nice warm dinner just cooked by your attentive wife witch you see everyday and being able, not to have to worry about whether you will live though your next day of work. Being able to sleep with out having haunting dreams of the daily work, which you have to pull though and live by just to earn living. To earn a living I must see death and all the horror and suffering and much more troubles and sufferings than most people can even think about.
My most resent project was to go the Iraq during the time when the civil war was on. Everyday I was going into the field just to take pictures of the suffering people the children running around aimlessly tying to escape the horror and agonies of what was going on around them, I was just there not to help the suffering but just to transport the agonies in black and white over to the blanked off world of which I call home.
Only for the padded people to turn the page not thinking and forgetting because they don't want to know about the rest of the real world they want to stay in there allusion that the world is a totally good place they don't want to think about the horror and agonies of the rest of the world.
Every night when I get back to my dark room in the local army camp I go though the photos and just hang the up and try to forget like the rest of the people, but I cant forget I will never forget what I have seen and what I have experienced. When I finally get back on the plane on the way to the padded world I realise all they want in there papers is not that tragedy of the real world but the gold studded tensile covered world of make believe, the stars the famous they want to know about celeb gossip not the real world but what can I do except for try to get people to acknowledge the suffering and the pain but people don't want to know about that. Its so frustrating to be in the middle of all this these two worlds and they just simply don't want to acknowledge each other. When I got home from the civil war in Iraq I started to see things differently. I stared to realise that people only live in the world they want to and even as much as I do I cant change that and I am starting to get annoyed some times I find that I tend to just lash out on people. Like when I was sitting in starbucks coffee I saw a business man reading the paper and it was the on with my pictures of the war in it he turned the page took a quick glance looked away and turned again. I fell the anger build up in me; I just couldn't take the fact the public just ignore the pain. I jumped up out the seat and started shouting at him and screaming about the suffering that he just blankly turned over. I am finding it hard to sleep any more I am getting these nightmares were I am standing near nest this girl and I can see that she is about to step on a mine will playing with here skipping rope I try to run to help her but I just couldn't get there and she steps on it and I wake up gasping for air in tears. My wife is worried; I'm worried not really for me but for the world.
By Mark Shrosbree