The Way I Am

Essay by PaperNerd ContributorCollege, Undergraduate January 2002

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She was like trying to talk to him. But distractions ugh"¦"¦"¦"¦"¦"¦"¦ so many damn distractions. N-e ways so like he was staring over at her w/ them and she was getting the vibe as if he was pissed off or he was getting pissed off. So she went over to pull him aside and was like what's up? He was like nothin'. She says well why where there staring at me like you was about to go off, then he told her I dunno what ur talkin' bout' I was just lookin' around. She started to get frustrated w/ him because she can't stand when a boy or anyone for that matter is not straight up w/ her. But to make things worse HE comes along and starts running his mouth off and Her is standing behind she making she uncomfortable. Then she leaves thinking how fucked up things just got.

She knows things just ended before they got started. But hey, she knows its all-good"¦.it's all good. Ha! Think, think all the time you want to, but thinking and doing are two totally different things with different outcomes. It's better off that way, don't you think? I mean when she gets fired up she's all for it! He-He! But she has should I say.. fire extinguishers. Very, very tempting but I don't think so I' m sorry. What the hell? Don't, don't things are as u can see maybe ur second to see them. Ha!"¦. Life's a Bitch but she's dealin"¦.so far? Yea I think she'll be ok , yeah. Things r kinda weird, no not weird just different. She never really got to get to experience that luxury tho she always felt she was worth it things were just so hard to strive. But now she knows that most def she is worth it, every single second or moment of it lived, she is worth it! Go girl! But see she has a hard time of trusting time, time can be a bullshitter and we all know (u should never try 2 bullshit a bullshitter), but so far it's been straight. This is what has been learned do not follow where the path may lead, but go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. Last year there was never of any hope of that happenin', I mean not all the time but to others I'm sure it seemed that way. But like I said things are different now, way different, some for the worse and some for the better. But hey that's life, ur never safe from bullshit until ur dead and that my friend is a fact. But even that depends on how u lived ur life internally, yea. In one of Madonna's (that bitch's) songs she says: It's human nature, and I'm not sorry I'm not ur ur bitch so don't put ur shit on me. To me that's saying nobody's perfect and o yeah she has a song called that, but n-e ways it's true and ur gonna make mistakes because it really is human nature but u have 2 realize where u fucked up and correct it. So from that I get our greatest glory is not in never failing but rising each time we fall. Outie! 8/17-18/01 -Jenisis