Why "The Brave Ones" Smells Worse Than My Gym Socks That Haven't Been Washed Since First Grade.
By: Josh Holbrook This essay is about the problems with the story "The Brave Ones" which was written by M. C. Burillark. I will discuss the problems I found in the story which are the plot, characters, style of the writer, setting and theme of the story. If you have read the story you probably noticed it has less zip than a grizzly during hibernation. I will discuss what makes it so boring by explaining the five points above.
The first problem with "The Brave Ones" is the plot. The plot is very predictable. In my opinion this is a basic love story where a handsome guy meets a beautiful girl and they live happily ever after. I found the story boring and it did not hold my attention. By the second page it had put me to sleep.
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English: World Trade Center, New York, aerial view...Also, it is very evident that Rocky was going to save the day. An example of this is, when Rocky won the fight against the bandits even though he was tied up. Next the plot is very unbelievable. When Rocky got shot he was still ok. That doesn't usually happen in real life. Also, while camping with Lightening, his horse, he kills a buffalo with one shot from his six-shooter. In real life one shot would only make the buffalo mad and it would start charging at you. After he shoots the buffalo he carries it back to his campfire by himself. Then when it is done cooking he offers some meat to his horse. But, wait a second! I thought horses were vegetarians. But, in this story Lightening eats meat. Believable or not? I'll let you decide. Melanie is described as having fair pink skin. In the desert how did she avoid getting sunburned all the time. So in short the short story has some major problems with the plot.
The second problem with "The Brave Ones" is the characters. They're too stereotypical especially Rocky and Melanie. Rocky is the sheriff of Pine Gulch. He is good looking and muscular. Sounds perfect, right? If you think so then you're wrong. He has no personality at all. He is nothing more than a pretty face and strong muscles. When I read about Melanie I imagined a picture of a person who looked like a Barbie doll: She had light blue eyes, beautiful golden blond hair, and fair pink skin. The next character that needs to be examined is Johnny James. After the deputies carry him to the jailhouse the deputy sheriff questions him and Johnny refuses to answer by saying it might incriminate him. When he takes the fifth amendment like he did in the line above he sounds more like a lawyer than a bandit. Then when Johnny sees the poor little sparrow picked up and put back into the oak tree by the little boy he suddenly has a change of heart and wants to help the deputies find the other bandits.
The third thing wrong is the style. The first problem is that he keeps repeating certain words. When he does this it is hard to keep track of what the writer is trying to say. The writer kept repeating words and phrases such as "suddenly", "lightning", and "cloud of dust". I couldn't tell if he was trying to say, "Rocky shot off like lightning suddenly in a cloud of dust" or if he was trying to say, "lightning struck the old saloon suddenly in a cloud of dust". The next problem is it did not have transitions. The writer is talking about the posse heading out to help Rocky then all of sudden he starts talking about what had happened to Rocky over the long night. When he does that it is hard to tell when he stopped talking about the posse and started talking about Rocky. The last problem is the writer included meaningless repetitions. An example of this is when the writer is describing the scene of Johnny seeing the little boy picking up the sparrow and putting it back in the tree. The repetition is the way the writer kept describing the sunlight. First he says the sun seemed to shine with a peculiar strong illuminating light then he says that a shaft of light from heaven shone on the scene.
The next to last problem in this story is the setting. The first example is that the town is not described very well. The town is described as a sleepy western town with the tops of the bank, the saloon and the sheriffs office clearly jutting above the expanse of the lone prairie. The second example is the conflicting events in the story. For example there is fog in the desert. How can there be fog in a desert when deserts get hardly any rain? Another conflicting event is the writer says the city is on a lone prairie but says that the baby sparrow, trying to learn how to fly, fell out of an oak tree. Webster's Dictionary describes a prairie as a dry treeless plain. If a prairie is supposed to be a treeless plain than how can there be an oak tree with a sparrow nest in it. There might be birds out on the prairie. But are there sparrows? Sparrows build their nests in trees, but if there are no trees, where would they build their nest.
The last problem with "The Brave Ones" is the theme. First the writer was implying that bad guys are stupid and always lose. Rocky was all tied up but he beat the bad guys up even though there was three of them and only one of him. Next the story is saying that love always triumphs which is not even close to the truth. In real life love does not always triumph. Unfortunately hate triumphs some of the time. For example when Osama Bin Laden had his followers hi-jack the planes and flew them into the Pentagon and the World Trade Center Towers. That was an example of hate triumphing over a person's life. In the story love triumphs and it becomes boring. Finally the theme is not necessarily biblical. When Rocky uses telepathy to communicate with his horse it is similar to the new age belief that we are all gods and have superhuman powers. It is not my call to say whether it is a good story to read or not it is your decision that counts.
Overall this story was written very poorly. With some revisions it could be made into a good story. For example the characters could be a little less perfect and have some personality so the story would seem more like real life. Also, if the writer described the town and setting better it would have a little bit of background and not like an old western set where the building fronts don't have any backs. Or if the writer made the plot less predictable and more realistic it wouldn't be such a boring story. So in short the short story "The Brave Ones" is written very poorly. With a few minor adjustments it could be reading fit for the king of England.
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