Why Essays Are Gay

Essay by PaperNerd ContributorCollege, Undergraduate September 2001

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Essays are gay for several reasons. Nobody likes writing them because they aren't fun to do. why do something that's not fun? They also are time consuming and do nothing but make some teacher happy that they kept you busy with such stupid busywork. When's the last time you saw somebody who was not a student write an essay? That's like seeing a flying purple hippo take a dump on a cop car while smoking a blunt. It doesn't happen.

There are some people who get off on writing essays, definately not anyone in the right mind, but usually some little queer in the closet who can't make friends and sucks dick for coke. Of course they never tell anybody about it, but rumor has it that it still goes on behind closed doors. You'd be amazed at the secret lives nerds leave, they are some strange people.

Teachers have good intentions, but are still pretty dumb.

not quite as dumb as police officer, but equally ignorant. Ever notice how tv is nothing like real life, even though it's supposed to reflect it? I always thought that they were supposed to be similar, but I was usually stoned at the time. They obviously spice up TV because life is too boring to make a tv show of. And when they do, it's called real world. That show was stupider than hell, I couldn't believe, still don't believe that a show like that could be successfull.

So in conclusion, that is why essays are gay, and so are teachers. May hippos shit on cop cars and spark it all night long.