I wish I knew what life has ahead for me

Essay by Kay001High School, 12th gradeA-, October 2007

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For the first time in my life there are "real" decisions that I have to make. Not where I am going on Saturday night but rather what path in life am I going to take. "What do I want to do with my life?" "Am I ready for life?" These questions have not only been bothering me, but also many of my friends who are trying to figure out the path which will lead them to their comfortable life. One might ask, what is that comfort that we all are striving for? Is it a state of mind or is it some world that we are so eager to enter? Well, it varies from person to person. It depends on the life that the person has lived and expectations that he has for himself or what others expect from him. I for one would like to obtain a higher standard of education and achieve a long time goal of being an accountant.

So many years has gone by since the first day of high school. I remember my dad took me to school and said enjoy the next five years because it will be one of the best times in your life. High school was a whole new experience for me. Thinking we had such independence, such freedom. Life had given me a few curve balls but I handled it to the best of my ability. Even at times I didn't think it would pass, it did and I know that I have become a better, more mature person from it all. "What can't kill you makes you stronger"But all I wanted to do was do enough work to pass and have a jol with my mates. Decisions back then was only superficial ones. Where to go on weekends? Who to take to the game reserve? But little did I know that those were probably the least of my worries. In the beginning of matric, my dad told me that I must realize that this year isn't a joke, I can't mess around, I must focus on my work because it could determine my future. "My Future", that hadn't even thought about it. I think I didn't want to come to the realisation that the ball was in my court. To be honest I didn't believe him, or maybe I didn't want to. So, a few months I heard something in class that was a wake up call for me, no! It wasn't that Fitti had a chicken roll for me, but rather "What do you want to be doing with your life" To be honest it frightened me a bit. What do I really want to be doing with my life? I remembered the discussion my dad had with me and the rest of the day that question was repetitively asked in my head. I thought to myself "I'm not ready for the real world" "I can't make these decisions on my own! "But the truth was that I am ready to make these decisions, I have always been ready to make these decisions. I had procrastinated enough. I then decided that my future was in my own hands. No one is their to hand it to me. Hard work will only get me there. And know that made me realize that the questions wasn't if I was ready for life, but rather is life ready for me.

As Jawaharal Nehru said "Life is like a game of cards. The hand that is dealt you represents determinism; the way you play it is free will."