Dreams disillusioned; promises broken. Dreams of giving birth to a new life- a completely different individual who will be a part of me. Promises were broken- a promise of a devoted wife to her husband, the only way to revive his unrequited love for her: promise of a daughter made to her husband's parents to acquire a position in their heart: promise of a mother made to her unborn child for its security. Guilt engulfed me. My heart shrouded in the depths of despair. How helpless I felt? How can I live with this fact lingering my thoughts- the fact that I killed a soul breathing inside me?
Made into believing the unbelievable- my thought suspicion was proved when my eyes embarked upon the words printed on that white sheet- 'negative', confirming the loss of a much-awaited life. My heart sank; there was no one to share my irretrievable loss.
Feeling helpless and isolated, my lifeless body sprawled on the bed. My sonorous clamor echoed breaking the profound silence of the room as the excruciating pain rose within me. The walls seemed to be enclosing in around me as if to seal my body; the ceiling seemed to descend as if to place a stone on my heart. Momentarily, my heart stopped beating as of the little innocent angelic soul's, which became the victim of my irresponsibility. Heedless of my family's constant convincing effort, I had nonetheless made my own way, unaware of the consequences that jeopardized my life. Ignorant of the worth of holding a status of a mother- a blessing of Al- mighty, I drove through the snowy weather, unsupervised indulging the two lives- my child's and mine into risk.
The unforgettable trauma of the accident flooded my memory as my thoughts wandered...