The first step in rewriting this message is, plan your message and use strong words straight and to the point. Next find out some information about your audience, knowing your audience is crucial in writing an effective message. "Build a strong relationship with your audience by establishing your creditability and projecting your company's image." (Thill & Bov'ee 2007).
Adapt your business message to meet your audience's needs. "Before you issue a formal report, especially one that will be seen by upper management or will go outside the firm, you must have someone proofread your document". (www.writerswrite.com). When you have someone read your message, they can pick up on mistakes better than you can. Dear Customer Service Representative
I recently saw your ad in Publisher's Weekly and I would like some information about your trade show. As a new publisher this would be an opportunity for me to promote my new books.
My public relations campaign will start in May 2000, and there will be ads in Publisher Weekly and some trade magazines.
Prior to publishing I was an airbrush artist and a sign painter. I plan to airbrush T-shirts at the trade show to help promote my book T-shirt Art, and will also be promoting my other book, How to Make Money in the Sign Painting Business.
I have enclosed a photo and biography of myself so you can use me in the marketing of your trade show. Please send me information regarding booth space. I look forward to promoting my books at your trade show.
Thill, J. V., & Bov'ee C. L. (2007). Excellence in Business Communication (7th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Prentice Hall.
Effective Writing for the Workplace, Retrieved February 23, 2007, from http://www.writerswrite.com/journal/cew1.htm