User Details For: Serenity_Queen

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  • It's good

    No, actually it is very goodthe only bad points I see are:1) using "I"--it is said that "I" & "You" should not be used in professional writing,2) using opinion-phrases like "To me, etc"--in writing using those type of phrases is unnecessary because almost any kind of essay has your opinion in it and writing "To me, I firmly believe, etc" you are drawing attention to it and risking some people turning away your essay because they might be a little narrow-minded,3) Saying unnecessary transition words like "In conclusion," and the lack of transition words--try to use them more often because they make paragraphs flow smoothly4) using "This" at the beginning of a sentence--makes the essay look "un-professional" or "un-polished"--a suggestion would be to use "it" or restating from the before sentence and continuing.Otherwise, the essay is quite excellent. ^_^
    • 06/02/2004
    • 19:00:48
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Good essay

    there are only minor grammar mistakes though. But still very good.
    • 05/02/2004
    • 17:30:44
    • Score: 2 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • NICE...

    Very good essay with quotations. Although, I don't know if using "I" is a good idea in an essay. But very nice essay though.
    • 05/02/2004
    • 17:26:24
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.