Where is you bibliography?!
- 12/11/2008
- 07:55:43
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
Great use of evidence (quotations) and descriptive examples to convey your main points. Strong intro and very nice conclusion to give your reader a long lasting impression and your final stance on the issue . I like that used a variety of sources too such as the controversial same sex marriages statement.
- 05/10/2008
- 14:45:05
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
Wow! I thought you did a great job explaining to your audience all the details about globalization whom might not know anything about it. Although this issue can be complex, maybe you could have included a specific RECENT story in the newspaper or on the news regarding companies, people, businesses directly effected by globalization to help paint a clearer picture for the audience.
- 12/01/2008
- 23:52:17
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
Good, but the fact that one of the men dies IS RELEVANT, the fact that the oiler ( who was the strongest man aboard the boat) dies, shows that the Darwinian theory of "survival of the fittest" does not live up to this statement- This statement shows how UNnaturalistic this section of the story is.
- 20/03/2007
- 13:01:38
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
Great reasons for why HIV is spreading in Africa..but what about the controversial question about the origin of HIV from a monkey and how it evolved through humans?!
- 16/03/2007
- 18:55:25
- Score: 1 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
Very good essay. Maybe you could put more reasons for the causes of alcoholism such as peer pressure influence? Also more statistics on this broad controversial topic would make this essay more credible!
- 16/03/2007
- 18:50:22
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
Very organized. I like how you incorporated a procedure to explain your main point. Also, the use of statistics gives your paper a believable approach when you included the T-values in your paper.
- 13/01/2007
- 18:03:44
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
Gay marriages, one of the most controversial topics in today's society. Although you mentioned that gay couples "intentionally deprive children of a same- or opposite-sex role model", what about the MANY optimistic, genuine-caring gay couples who adopt children who were once deprived from food, water and shelter? What about the gay couples who INTENTIONALLY want to make a DIFFERENCE in a child's life? I do believe that your examples are quite weak. You only give ONE example of a lesbian couple who had a negative effect on a child. What about 2 gay men? What wre the effects on that child?Also, if I were at a wedding, and two gay men named Paul and Ryan were getting married, this is what the preist would say: Do you, Paul, take Ryan to be a lawfully wedded husband for the rest of your life? Yes, this sounds perfectly fine to me and to others. LOVE is LOVE, whether it is hetero or homosexual. Not only are you arguing against gay marriages and families, you are also arguing AGAINST LOVE. If you can't back up your paper with many legit examples, don't assume people will credit your argumentative paper.
- 30/12/2006
- 20:08:13
- Score: 0 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
Great commentary regarding this love song; I like how you described the detail of imagery concerning the fragileness of the butterfly. This elaborative detail gives the audience an accurate visual mental picture. You could also include a conclusion to help summarize your 3 main key points (Imagery, Irony and Theme) to be more organized.
- 30/12/2006
- 19:30:11
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
Great argument and thesis statement regarding the vulgar effects of rap music. Great hook with the quote by Eminem to pull the reader into your paper. As I do agree with the vulgar lyrics in today's society, although some artists have DEEP lyrics that can be offensive, I do believe that putting your emotion and truth into the lyrics of a song can make the artist more "real" and likeable. But, there is the question of where do you draw the line in good vs bad music? The real problem lies in our very important amendment: freedom of speech.
- 30/12/2006
- 19:20:21
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
I love how you described the evolution of music over time such as the changes of the notation of music. You could have described the medieval Gregorian chant music (the first and most important in musical history) though to give the reader a greater understanding of the history of music.
- 30/12/2006
- 19:12:44
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
Great informative essay regarding the Ramones. I like how you mentioned their Rock N Roll roots and the elaborative words describing the "sound" of their music. Also, you could have elaborated more about the lyrics and musical elements in their songs.
- 30/12/2006
- 19:08:04
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
Good job explaining the details of the slave labor and the effects of native americans arriving in the New World. Also great introduction, it really attracts the reader to the rest of your essay.
- 18/06/2006
- 21:48:13
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
Good emphasis on the key points of the description of discrimination that lead to the war. You could use more reasons and examples of how slavery led to the Civil War.
- 18/06/2006
- 21:44:29
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
Very good examples and elaboration to the similarities of the two horror movies. Maybe you could have added a paragraph and compared the characters in both movies also?! Otherwise, very nicely written.
- 18/04/2006
- 11:57:37
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
Wow, the only cartoon I ever loved was the Simpsons and never really knew "why". You probably pinpointed every detail to why viewer audiences and I love this hilarious cartoon so much..and you are so right about the "working-class" aspect since the Simpsons and most people in the US are also on that level. Great examples and support to back up your theories! Very nice!!
- 18/04/2006
- 11:55:38
- Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
Even though this essay is a bit short, I like the sense of poetry and imagery in this essay. I also like how the essay leaves us in suspense though the intro and near the end. Very good "cut to the chase" essay!
- 18/04/2006
- 11:51:36
- Score: 2 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
Very good controversial topic to pick, maybe you could have explained a bit more on the "POSITIVE" aspects of abortion and long term results, but also great introduction to pull the reader into your essay (very intense). I do like how you elaborated fully on the negative aspects of abortion with plenty of examples. Well written!
- 18/04/2006
- 11:48:45
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
Very good INFORMATIVE essay, I'm so glad that you are addressing the legal equality with women. Also I'm also glad you included another country "Australia" rather than just the United States because people should be informed that problems such as legal bias and discrimination are going on in other countries.
- 18/04/2006
- 11:45:40
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
I am so glad that this subject is being adressed, because so many people act like RATILIN is "OK". It really is not just ok because of the symptoms it leaves on people (good elaboration on that). Very creative essay on a prescription drug. Also, good job on giving examples of outcomes of kids who did take Ritalin.
- 17/04/2006
- 22:18:02
- Score: 3 out of 4 people found this comment useful.