Thank you for the long list of works consulted, it will help me in my research of disparate treatment cases. Good job on the paper.D~
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
Thank you for allowing me to review your paper. I think the content is good, however; I did see a couple gramatical errors. For example, "However, even if women for a company with a well established harassment policy, many women still keep their mouths shut." This sentence doesn't make sense, because you omitted the word "work", and it should say "policies" instead of "policy", look up subject-verb agreement for more information. In addition, this sentence, "However, first and foremost, educating employees about what constitutes harassment and its effects is vital, because there is considerable uncertainty and disagreement about what harassment is." has problems with subject verb agreement, unless modified as follows: change "is vital" to "are vital". Hope this feedback helps with future papers.D~
- Score: 1 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
Very good subject matter. Remember a good rule of thumb is to keep your paragraphs to three sentences or more. One sentence does not make a paragraph. Other than that, great job.D~
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
Thank you for allowing me to review your essay. It was easy to read, had good paragraph flow, and contained modern, relevant, content. The only suggestion I can offer is, try to strenghthen your conclusion.D~
- Score: 9 out of 9 people found this comment useful.
Hello,Thank you for sharing this essay with me, and giving me the opportunity to review it. This essay sounds somewhat sad, yet peaceful. It sounds like somthing you would hear at a funeral. It also sounds like a personal journal entry. It talks about your mother being a kind woman, volunteering at the red cross and reading to you. Other than that, I think it lacks content. Unfortunately, I do not think it is necesarily helpful on this site, nonetheless, it is a nice piece of writing.D~
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
Thank you for allowing me to review your paper. In my opinion, your paper addresses an important topic for discussion, and contains several good research points. I would like to make the following suggestions to improve this paper. First, clean up the sentence structure at the end of the first paragraph. Then, work on the overall readability of the paper, for example, from the very first sentence, your paper is choppy.You state, "I read the article Alcohol and Teen Drinking." Just by using, a simple word like "the" you are implying only one article in the world exists with the title "Alcohol and Teen Drinking", and of course, this does not sound logical. Instead, try pulling the readers attention in with a shocking statistic like this, "According to research by the National Institute onAlcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, adolescents who begin drinking before age 15 are four times more likely to develop alcohol dependence than those who begin drinking at age 21". (http://www.focusas.com/Alcohol.html) This statistic is certainly a cause for concern. This is a quote I pulled from the site you provided, in about one minute.By doing this, you will catch the readers attention, and show where you are getting your (credible) information at the same time.On another note, try replacing less formal terms throughout your paper with more formal ones. It will give your paper more readability. For example, terms such as "kind of", replace with "somewhat". Replace "don't" with "do not".Lastly, you seem to use passive voice throughout your paper, and this habit is especially difficult to break. Consider using an active verb instead. For example, instead of saying "and suicide, all of which are related in some" try, "and suicide, all of which relate in some" I changed "are related" to "relate".Again, thank you for the opportunity to review your paper.D~
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.