Not bad, good description that allows you to create an image in your head, but watch that grammar! Silly mistakes like that take away from any good points.
- 10/08/2004
- 14:33:54
- Score: 15 out of 17 people found this comment useful.
You should NEVER begin an essay with someone else's words (a quote). Use your own to draw someone in. Also, be careful of spelling. As a high school senior, that shouldn't even have to be mentioned. You shouldn't use generalizations like 'some people,' it takes away from your authority. This paper would never convince me of anything - it's poorly written, there are simple things like spelling and grammar errors that make it hard to take someone who's around 17-18 years old (and who should know how to spell) seriously, and the writer shows no authority or conviction.
- 17/07/2004
- 11:06:02
- Score: 6 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
Great Seinfeld-esque sense of humour about such a random thing. Well written, entertaining, kept my attention.
- 10/05/2004
- 07:49:22
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
When making such inflammatory claims, it is best to use sources to back yourself up, because otherwise you just come across as some joe schmo with an opinion. Also, I think you do a lot of generalizing, and that is NEVER good in an argumentative essay. Specifics, specifics, specifics!
- 01/05/2004
- 09:50:51
- Score: 7 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
Cool point of view, way to notice something most of us probably never would have!
- 01/05/2004
- 09:47:13
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
This is an excellent paper. You do a great job with your references and backing up what you say. Good job!
- 24/04/2004
- 12:52:55
- Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
This is an excellent, thorough essay. You cover many points, and cover all of your bases. Good job! And thanks for being one who actually includes their references!
- 24/04/2004
- 12:51:19
- Score: 1 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
This is hysterical, what a wonderful bit of creative writing. Great job!
- 22/04/2004
- 07:58:12
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
Pretty good for a young'un's paper. :)Good for you having courage to write about things you believe in.
- 21/04/2004
- 14:17:21
- Score: 8 out of 8 people found this comment useful.
Pretty good, uses a lot of cliched terms though.
- 21/04/2004
- 14:14:08
- Score: 26 out of 29 people found this comment useful.
Pretty good paper, could use a bit of work formally and grammatically. Glad to see a works cited list, people never seem to remember those.
- 21/04/2004
- 13:03:33
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
I think this essay is well written and all-encompassing. It seems to have a fair view of a faith that right now is not in favor. You stick to facts and straight presentation.
- 17/04/2004
- 18:18:50
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
I totally agree, the death penalty is the easiest way out for the offender. THey should be made to suffer as much as their victims and their families.
- 12/04/2004
- 19:56:42
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
This essay is very thorough and well organized. As a college senior, I can say that it's better than some of the papers my peers are writing in my upper level English classes. Lots of information is presented in a manner that flows. Good job!
- 07/04/2004
- 20:43:45
- Score: 10 out of 12 people found this comment useful.
You admitted abortion is the murder of a child...then never addressed whether THAT is ok or not, just whether it's ok for the mom. Also, it was rather informal and therefore not going to carry as much authority for such an important topic that you want someone to seriously consider. You don't cite any sources either, I find it hard to believe everything, it could be just your opinion for all I know. Not to mention you are not a bible scholar and to take a passage from the bible and claim to know the interpretation is rather pompous.
- 19/03/2004
- 09:13:36
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
This essay was informative and interesting, however, it strayed off topic. I didn't see any reference on how it influences America's youth. It's kind of a short essay to be able to do that in anyways.
- 19/03/2004
- 09:03:24
- Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
Be sure when citing to cite page numbers as well (China's Only Child). Also, there is a bit of citation bloat - the whole esay seems to be built upon citations from other people's writings without much of the author's own writing. Also, be careful of tense change, 'was' and 'are'.
- 18/03/2004
- 13:53:51
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
The author is clear and objective, as well as structured and organized. However, be careful of truth of facts presented. For example, in paragraph 3, it is said fetuses do not possess the capability to feel pain. However, studies show that fetuses do in fact respond to stimuli, including painful stimuli.
- 18/03/2004
- 13:43:53
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.