Well this is a good topic to write an essay on...since everyone lies even if they say they don't...but I don't really think you bring that into it a lot...you need something to back it up a little more...(example: Get other people's opinions on the topic, or quote some of things they talked about)
- 12/06/2002
- 15:18:29
- Score: 11 out of 12 people found this comment useful.
I didn't really think this had an essay feel to it...It needs a little more length and a lot more depth into it...I know this must of been a little hard to make it as long as it is now..since there really isn't that much that you can write about happiness...But maybe if you compared it to another word that is close to the meaning as happiness but is different on how it effects people
- 06/06/2002
- 00:06:22
- Score: 19 out of 20 people found this comment useful.
I might want to proof read this a little next time...there were some spelling errors...but none that you can't fix with spell check...and there were some places where I thought you either needed a comma or a period...and I liked how you explained what words meant but you should put that in ()
- 05/06/2002
- 23:59:20
- Score: 6 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
I think you could add more information..like why they were dancing in the forest...or why her position would be harmed...or even what her position was...and I really want to know how she was dancing with??? Was it a friend or what???
- 05/06/2002
- 23:54:42
- Score: 21 out of 26 people found this comment useful.
this was just wonderful..even though it did take me awhile to read it...You added great detail and expressed how they felt like you were there seeing them through it all...And also I liked how you broke it up into the different part...I sure do hope you got an A+ on it...
- 05/06/2002
- 23:50:07
- Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
You added a lot of information...but in some places you could use a little more...I liked it, but where you told about the deadly features it was more like a book to me then an essay
- 05/06/2002
- 23:41:35
- Score: 6 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
I liked this essay, because it got straight to the point & didn't drag out or bring up things in her life at all...And even though it was a long essay it seemed very short....I loved that part probably the best
- 23/04/2002
- 19:13:15
- Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
I loved this essay...great theme that you had it on too...I love going to DisneyLand and I never knew all of that before...I love learning about the story behind of it all...Great essay keep on writing more just like it
- 23/04/2002
- 19:07:35
- Score: 12 out of 12 people found this comment useful.
This is a good essay...but it needs to be put into paragraph form...and have a good basic structure to it...
- 22/04/2002
- 01:02:39
- Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
this essay had a really good structure...I don't think it needs any work on it...but it could be shortened up just a bit....good job
- 20/04/2002
- 23:00:24
- Score: 7 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
I liked this essay, but it was a little long(it could be shortened up just a bit)...but other then that it was good & had a gr8 thesis sentence...
- 19/04/2002
- 09:16:58
- Score: 5 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
This was a really interesting essay...But on some parts I had to figure out what you were trying to say because of your spelling errors...You got my attention though, to where I just wanted to keep reading about him. INTERESTING!!!
- 17/04/2002
- 23:58:09
- Score: 5 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
This essay has some errors(but nothing that a spell checker can't fix)...& I think you should put more examples in to prove your point and really catch the readers attention, because a lot of things happened in the 1970's not just some of the things found in this essay. But it is really good, and I wouldn't change the structure of it...just add a couple of examples here and there.
- 17/04/2002
- 23:50:09
- Score: 6 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
I think this essay is good...there are some run on sentences, but with some corrections it would be even better...gr8 job, also good background research!!!
- 17/04/2002
- 23:40:07
- Score: 8 out of 8 people found this comment useful.
I loved this essay...The best one that I have read so far...I love everything about it...Whoever wrote this found out the facts and formed it into an essay wonderfully.......
- 16/04/2002
- 20:47:02
- Score: 10 out of 10 people found this comment useful.
I like the fact that this story was written with almost only the facts about the subject...but in the beginning you didn't write the facts that you had in a paragraph, and you seemed to drag some things on & on...but I am not saying that this wasn't a good essay, because it was...it was just kinda missing some good structured paragraphs...
- 16/04/2002
- 20:34:04
- Score: 6 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
I read the story and thought it was pretty good...I kinda got confused in the first and second paragraph where it jumped around with the whole life story thing...but then it ended up explaining it's self pretty well...It is a well written story, but it is missing some parts
- 16/04/2002
- 20:20:35
- Score: 3 out of 4 people found this comment useful.