User Details For: Galgorth

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  • Improvements to make

    There are many grammatical errors. Fix these. Stop using the verb "to be" so often, it weakens your argument. Give support and examples about why your parents are great americans; perhaps a story about something patriotic one of them did. Also, think about revising the conclusion, as it's not very clear right now.
    • 19/04/2002
    • 23:34:34
    • Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • Please use proper grammar

    This essay has very poor grammar, and its good points were were soured by the use of poorly chosen words. The use of the first person in the thesis statement also weakened the essay considerably.
    • 19/04/2002
    • 23:28:09
    • Score: 6 out of 6 people found this comment useful.