The content was complete but extremely tortorous to read. Possibly a more narative format would have been a little better and perhaps the use of a Thersaurus.
- 06/05/2002
- 21:25:14
- Score: 27 out of 27 people found this comment useful.
Your paper was well writen, minus the fact that all of the information appears to have been obtained via the internet. Just FYI, when you get into college, and even some high school teachers, you will not be allowed to cite internet sources. My best advice to you is to always find the hard copy source for the internet information. That way there is no question as to ligitemacy of your information.
- 06/05/2002
- 21:21:58
- Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
First of all, for a young person in the 10th grade of high school they did do their research. However some constructive critisism is due. First review your outline and make several drafts. Your content was somewhat out of order and confusing. Also try using a thesaurus to find alternative wording for some frequently used words. Also avoid refering to your subject constantly as "schizophrenics" in writing it becomes overbearing and redundant and medically (I'm a nursing student) it is very stigmatizing.
- 24/04/2002
- 22:16:23
- Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
The paper was fairly well written, except for the fact that there were numerous typos and and a few broken sentences. Make sure that you capitalize proper nouns like China. When writing on discrimination one could question which side you are on.
- 24/04/2002
- 21:51:43
- Score: 6 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
I approached this paper from the view point of a nursing student. The humanistic views of suffering and the one's right to end it were well stated and very strong. The author does a wonderful job of imposing his point of view and persauding the audience to agree with it. The only short coming, for me, was that I had to look up some of the legal latin that was used.
- 24/04/2002
- 11:55:14
- Score: 5 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
This was a well written essay. However, The description and tittle was too cliche' and stated in the vernacular many terms that could have been more colorful. The writer's description of James, the homeless man, was pretty good. I could see him in my mind and almost smell is unkept nature.
- 24/04/2002
- 11:47:26
- Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.