I picked up a mistake really quickly..."In the beginning, Athens was governed by a monarchy, rule by one person."Should be..."In the beginning, Athens was governed by a monarchy, a government structure where one person rules."
- 21/08/2004
- 15:14:35
- Score: 6 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
I read a bit of it and I barely saw any mistakes. Did pick this one up though:"I think that the story would be extremely altered and tell another story of the agony of growing up in a hard world if it was told from the daughter's point of view." Should be..."I think that the story would be extremely altered and would tell another story..."A stronger conclusion would also be nice. Good job!
- 21/08/2004
- 15:12:10
- Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
Wow... parallelism needs to be taught to this member..."Taped glasses, high-water pants, pocket-protectors, well spoken and with high IQs". Should be...."Taped glasses, high-water pants, pocket-protectors, and high IQs". You can throw in well spoken in there because it's an adjective!
- 21/08/2004
- 15:09:36
- Score: 5 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
Few spelling/grammar errors. I'll point out a few.Last few lines...analysing --> analyzingracialy --> racially"It is a tragic circumstance when a person must pretend to be someone they are not, to live the way they want, however social constructs made this to be the case."This is a runon.... Should be:"It is a tragic circumstance when a person is forced to pretend to be someone they are not in order to live the way they want because of challenges such as social constructs."I don't even know what social constructs are.. hah
- 21/08/2004
- 15:06:54
- Score: 3 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
There are some grammar mistakes..."The family issues are relatively bleak compare to possible abuse of technology."It is compared... If I can find a grammar mistake just be glancing at the essay, it can only be fair. The conclusion is pretty well written. Nice job.
- 15/05/2004
- 13:19:04
- Score: 6 out of 7 people found this comment useful.