short essay? summary more like. I always get the feeling people submit essays like this just to get points.
- 30/08/2004
- 12:52:39
- Score: 3 out of 8 people found this comment useful.
I thought this essay was brilliant. Its just a pity it has not had more views! It contains sound arguments and many truths. My only criticisms are that its entitled "gender roles" when the essay is mostly concerned with analysing the role of women. I thought there could be more references than Cosmopolitan as well. Other than that it was a fantastic read, with a great opening in particular, structured well and very interesting. Good work!
- 30/08/2004
- 12:51:08
- Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
You say there are no words in english to explain what the jews went through yet you attempt to write an essay entitled "The Holocaust". This is a really half arsed attempt at an essay even for middle school. There is a lot you could say on this topic. Just research it some more, make it longer and put in some facts and you'll be fine.
- 30/08/2004
- 12:41:16
- Score: 2 out of 13 people found this comment useful.
There is no opening in this essay. You cannot just jump straight into the analysis like that. Try giving a brief outline of what you are going to discuss in the essay as your introduction, and a short summary (possibly with a little extra analysis) as your conclusion. This will make it tidier and structured and it will gain you much more marks in the long run.The wording does not flow very well, however, so perhaps practice linking sentances together so that your essay does not seem so abrupt.Your analysis is quite good however, all you need to do is work a little at improving the structure of your essay.
- 28/08/2004
- 09:32:16
- Score: 2 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
This is a very strange essay. It gives good arguments for both sides of the argument, but as people have already said, it is very disorganised. The fragmentation in the middle of this essay where you state your opinion is very strange. Firstly it seems odd that you would give your own opinion anyway, particularly in the first person, let alone just fling it into the middle of your essay and use words like 'ok'. The paragraphing is weak as well.You give some good arguments here, although I would advise you to keep your own personal opinion out of the essay if you are presenting both sides of the argument. It just needs some tidying up.
- 28/08/2004
- 09:25:00
- Score: 4 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
What a great essay! I could see nothing wrong at all and I really enjoyed reading it. Good work!
- 28/08/2004
- 08:51:31
- Score: 11 out of 13 people found this comment useful.