I'm not sure if there was a certain way that you had to set up this essay, but generally you should not tell the reader that they are at the intro, or the conclusion and should not give titles to your body paragraphs... if you were told to do this by a teach please ignore... otherwise work on some ways to inform the read of what he/she is reading by including good topic sentences and thesis.
- 28/09/2005
- 01:02:58
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
This is a very good topic and for your level is a descent essay. If you would get some outside information on this topic including some interviews with students, this essay would be awesome! Great job.
- 28/09/2005
- 01:00:57
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
For this subject matter you need much more than a 415 word essay... people could write a book on this... expansion is needed!
- 28/09/2005
- 00:58:39
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
I think this essay would be an awesome read if you had a definite intro and thesis as well as well developed body paragraphs and conclusions. I know it seems like i pointed out every aspect of your paper, but this seems like a topic proposal to me and if it were turned into a well developed essay i would love to read it!
- 28/09/2005
- 00:57:23
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
This is a very cute piece. for creative writing category, this works well!
- 28/09/2005
- 00:55:06
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
181 words is not enough to get your point accross for this essay topic. Expand your thoughts and provide an introduction with thesis
- 28/09/2005
- 00:32:21
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
You do a very good job of explaining the poem and giving evidence. I think there were a couple gramatical errors but nothing very significant. Good job.
- 16/11/2004
- 13:00:57
- Score: 1 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
This essay has no real introduction and some of your sentences are not complete thoughts just fragments that finish the idea in another sentence. you need to work on your writing skills a little bit.
- 15/11/2004
- 18:41:56
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
I like the creativity in this piece. wether or not i agree with what is being said is not the issue. I enjoy reading poems that dont follow someone else's thought or sturcture. good job!
- 14/11/2004
- 20:17:13
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.