User Details For: JoeyOliver

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  • Conclusion.

    Very well-written essay. It has good use of examples and it seems like you know exactly what you're talking about.Although, it seems like you introduced a new idea in the last two sentences. I suggest that you either take the last two sentences out, or you could even turn that last idea into another paragraph and throw it before the conclusion. Hope this helped.
    • 16/02/2006
    • 01:23:08
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.

  • I and he.

    I like the conclusion, it's fairly short, yet strong and effective.On the other hand, you should avoid using "I" and "He" so much in your essays. For instance, in the second paragraph, you've used "He" about four or five times when you could've substituded "Dr. Sheperd", but it's just a suggestion. And I know a lot of instructors don't like to see the word, "I", in any paper.
    • 16/02/2006
    • 00:55:20
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.

  • Nice.

    I found this suprisingly persuasive. Thumbs up for looking into things... Although, I didn't like the title that much. Maybe try a stronger word than "Reasonable". Kudos.
    • 24/04/2005
    • 23:02:31
    • Score: 0 out of 1 people found this comment useful.