It's a good essay for a 5th grader. You did a good job. I liked that you mentioned what you were going to talk about. Nice.The thing is, organize your ideas. I felt they were all over the place.Your paragraphing was a bit sloppy.YOUR THESIS WAS WEAK. I cannot express this any more clearer. WEAK THESISES CAUSE WEAK ESSAYS.Something along the lines of that. Well, nonetheless, nice one.
- 14/02/2006
- 23:19:54
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
You had quite a bit of information in that but IF it was an essay it was weak. Thesis=Terrible/Non-ExistentArgument=Non-Existent.IF it was not an essay, which I don't think it is BUT I am gonna assume so since it is not under the heading of study notes or anything like that I apologize. It was very informative, and I will give you a yellow face for it.
- 13/02/2006
- 22:58:05
- Score: 2 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
I liked your essay. You argued your points well, and even though I dissagree with you I still liked your essay.As a 13-year-old, I see the "effects" of violent games on younger underage children.I can take it, but I really don't want to play it. I really just play THUG, maybe THAW, or Mario, or N64. But I got GTA 3 as a present from my 5 year old cousin.So that is where I dissagree.But that is not the point. You did good. You should clap yourself on the back.(P.S. The director of GTA:SA (or maybe it was Manhunt) said this to his production team, "Let's make the bloodiest, goriest game ever." I really don't think that is a good motif for making a video game.)
- 13/02/2006
- 22:54:49
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
I don't know. This didn't seem very good. It really didn't argue the point of the story. You did condense it to 400-ish words but you didn't really say anything. What was the point of it? What does the story try to achieve?
- 12/02/2006
- 22:10:12
- Score: 1 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
It was a pretty good essay, I liked your argument, and I liked the way you punched politics.The problem is I think that punching politics is an overused tactic in essays.Other than that, muy bien.
- 12/02/2006
- 22:05:33
- Score: 1 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
I liked this essay. It was thorough and definately worth the 95. I don't think that your opening statement should have been a quote though, but other than that I liked your essay, and even though I have not read "Of Mice and Men" you definately got your point across.
- 12/02/2006
- 22:01:12
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
Here you go.This was a fun assignment, in which my group was to explore a planet. And I impressed everyone with a 20-ish page writing.
- 12/02/2006
- 21:55:31
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
I liked this essay very much. I didn't even read Macbeth, but I understood what you meant here. I liked your argument, and the sources you posted. In short, I liked it.
- 12/02/2006
- 21:14:55
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
I can't read this. Can anyone tell me why?
- 12/02/2006
- 20:34:47
- Score: 0 out of 1 people found this comment useful.