For a 7th grade level, this essay is well written. There are plenty of details and examples. The transitions between paragraphs should be smooth; the essay did not seem to flow. The opening paragraph is a little confusing. The comment about starving children got my attention, but it was unclear how it tied into the context of the paper. The closing paragraph should tie the details of the paper back together. Overall, good paper for grade level.
- 20/05/2006
- 18:40:11
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.