I agree with mayank. This is decent freetime writing and thought patterns but it's missing that spark of life. It seems more like just another lackluster poem. It's not terrible, but it doesn't blow me away either. And for a senior, it really could have been better. There are a few typos (confort). Also try incorporating some more advanced vocabulary.
- 16/04/2007
- 19:38:51
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
Well...nice summary! But an essay needs to go beyond that. Anyone can get a summary from wikipedia or some other place. What you really need is your thought or some form of analysis of the Giver ending.
- 16/04/2007
- 19:34:37
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
This is a great poem. I'm wondering if it is open form or free form though... Some suggestions for improvement would be incorporating some stanzas. I like the repetition of "But if only to be with you". That makes me think it's open form. It definitely leaves you thinking...
- 16/04/2007
- 19:31:14
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.