Okay first the bad before the good... I did see some spelling errors.. and that could be just from when you typed it up and didn't notice. Another thing I did see was run on sentences. I also notice that the big chunk in the middle of your essay is this huge, massive paragraph. The conclusion also was very short and weak.I don't like to totally knock down a persons writing because, I know I don't know everything there is. There are some good points to your writing. You can see that you do have your ideas of what you were trying to get across and if you went back and fixed it up it could be an excellent essay. The opening was good, though, like I said before, spelling, run on's... You stated clearly what you were going to talk about and of course that's always good. So I would say..... clean it up, try to break down that long chunk in the middle, expand your conclusion, and work on sentence and paragraph structure.
- 21/11/2002
- 20:50:30
- Score: 3 out of 11 people found this comment useful.
This site is becoming depressing to me. I've been getting negative results on things I haven't done bad with in school! On top of that no responses to why. Maybe this essay was a big overly detailed, but it was what my prof. wanted and I figured it might inspire some ideas. I don't understand.
- 21/11/2002
- 20:24:24
- Score: 3 out of 10 people found this comment useful.
I posted this to help others that might be confused with this topic. I kind of was confused when I had to do this little thing for my sociology class. I was told I did it right. Now I'm wondering what I did wrong since it wasn't recieved well.
- 21/11/2002
- 20:21:41
- Score: 3 out of 8 people found this comment useful.
Another negative rating that I don't understand. Did I misunderstand my topic? I'm very curious where I am going wrong and why my professors seem to give me decent grades. Are they being over generous? I would like to know where I am going wrong. I'm one sad girl over here :( I thought I did a pretty decent job overall. At least I'd appreciate some explaination for the negativity.
- 21/11/2002
- 20:19:03
- Score: 10 out of 23 people found this comment useful.
I happened to make a decent grade on this paper I did for my English class. I'm wondering why the negative response. Part of the reason I decided to try out this cheathouse thing is because I thought it could help me with my own work and also help me by getting feedback from others. So far I get negative marks without any explaination. What didn't you like about my paper? Do you disagree how I interpreted the poem? My professor gave me a 5+ out of 6 for it so... just puzzles me.
- 21/11/2002
- 20:15:38
- Score: 2 out of 8 people found this comment useful.
This seems to keep happening to me. If you don't agree with me I'd like to see some comments instead of just marking points against me.When I have nothing better to do, I honestly like reading random essays for ideas and commenting MY opinions. Is this wrong?
- 21/11/2002
- 20:11:07
- Score: 2 out of 8 people found this comment useful.
I read this piece and gave my honest opinion and I recieve two bad ratings. Can someone please explain this? As for most creative writing, it is (outside of grammar and such things as that) it is almost a matter of opinion. Nobody, before I said anything about how I liked this piece said anything about it. Now, I have a minus 2 rating against me. I don't get it. Don't like the piece? Why don't you comment on it instead?!?
- 21/11/2002
- 20:07:58
- Score: 1 out of 8 people found this comment useful.
I'm surprised nobody has commented on this. This is descriptive, imaginative, and beautiful. Good job :)
- 21/11/2002
- 12:10:35
- Score: 1 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
This is cute. I personally don't hate the mall for shopping, to just hang out, yes I hate the mall. The mall does provide many stores in one place and I find that very nice. I thought this story was good though, it gave an interesting point-of-view, but only leaves me to wonder why someone that hates the mall would keep returning. There HAS to be something else for entertainment around there. Especially this taking place in New York, I would imagine.
- 21/11/2002
- 12:07:57
- Score: 1 out of 10 people found this comment useful.
I'm not really sure why you needed that many sources to write that small bit about the Boston Massacre. I think the main obvious thing wrong with this essay is that you packed a big topic in a very little space. My suggestion to you is to just slow down when writing and allow yourself to better explain what you are saying. You don't have to push all the facts so close together, it makes it not read smoothly.
- 21/11/2002
- 11:58:14
- Score: 3 out of 9 people found this comment useful.
Just a suggestion, I usually like to explain what I am talking about in essays, assuming nobody has ever heard of it before. Most people know what Yoga is, but also a lot of people just assume they know what it is, so it would've benefited your essay I think if you would've included a little paragraph summing up the jest of it. And also, I think you could've expanding on your opinion of people just trying yoga because it's trendy now. I always find it makes essays more interesting when people put a lot of themselves into it, when it is allowed to be put in.
- 21/11/2002
- 11:52:06
- Score: 7 out of 12 people found this comment useful.
I liked all your points that you made about cheating and if it's right or wrong. I think you could've developed it further with the points you did bring up. But, overall it was a good essay and I agree that it is a matter of opinion, and most essay's I've seen on this topic usually leans towards one way or the other. Mostly leaning towards it being wrong, and I'm guessing this is because they think this is what they want teachers to hear?
- 21/11/2002
- 11:44:36
- Score: 5 out of 9 people found this comment useful.
I think this essay was good in general, high school student or not. I liked the part in reference that tagging is like a dog marking his territory. I thought that was cute. I liked this essay, I think it tackled both sides and gave enough information about the art form to support what was being said. Not all essay have to get so detailed that it turns into something really long and drawn out. Good job.
- 20/11/2002
- 22:15:54
- Score: 7 out of 20 people found this comment useful.
I just had a paper to turn in on John S. Mill's Theory of Liberty and the textbook I have is so confusing. It wasn't untill I read your essay that it came clearer. So thanks! You made lots of good points and it helped me write my paper with much ease, I had tons of ideas.
- 20/11/2002
- 22:00:32
- Score: 4 out of 8 people found this comment useful.
All the things I never thought of after reading and seeing the movie at least a dozen times. I never read or heard anything about the Wizard of Oz in this type of view. I found this essay very interesting and very nicely explained. I think you made a lot of interesting connections to the Wizard of Oz and other not so obvious ideas they represent. At least, none of these ideas every crossed my mind. I'm kinda curious how you came up with the idea to write about this topic. I would've never thought of it honestly.
- 17/11/2002
- 01:36:57
- Score: 3 out of 8 people found this comment useful.
I took sociology last semester and I wrote a paper to this similar subject and I wish I had've read this before hand. Looks like every angle is covered nicely. You included lots of different perspectives to deviance and I like seeing different views. I also like how it ends with a quote. I never ended an essay like that. I probably should some time.
- 17/11/2002
- 01:19:13
- Score: 6 out of 10 people found this comment useful.
I agree, there are tons of gramatical errors and it lacks organization and structure. There are lots of good ideas in there and could be interesting to read if more thought and planning was put into it I think. That last long paragraph could've been broken down and detailed into several paragraphs. It would've made it less confusing to look at.
- 17/11/2002
- 01:09:22
- Score: 14 out of 21 people found this comment useful.