Your essay is not carved and smooth it is somewhat rough and rigid. An example would be "Question: What rule must we observe in forgiving (a debt)?Answer: Whether thou didst lend by way of commerce or in mercy, if he hath nothing to pay thee, thou must forgive, (except in cause where thou hast a surety or a lawful pledge). Deut. 15:1-2"Instead you could have said "The (adjective) question is (question rephrased). As for the answer you could say for example,"In their (view,belief,culture,etc.)...(Answer rephrased)
- 17/11/2007
- 18:09:13
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
Good essay! has all important components:-shows your deep knowledge of the subject-very interesting-accurate statistics-detailed bibliography(shows that you've done your research)
- 17/11/2007
- 17:52:02
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
The essay has a lot of good info, but some concepts are left out. For example dreams can motivate many motivate many people like the Wright Brothers dreamed of flying.Good Essay overall, but can use some elaboration.
- 17/11/2007
- 04:27:22
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
In my opinion I think this essay is a bit extreme. WE are NOT in an attack right now and no one or anything has the guts to attack us.
- 17/11/2007
- 04:18:54
- Score: 1 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
When describing your self try to state your weaknesses and strength for example "ambitious" should be classified as either a strength or a weakness,etc. But good essay overall.
- 10/11/2007
- 08:12:43
- Score: 0 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
The writing is good overall, but there is one thing missing. The author forgot to refer to insert any document or even draw any allusion. (DBQ) Document Based Questions
- 10/11/2007
- 07:42:23
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
Try to state a clear thesis, and try to overrun the rough "speed bumps" in your essay. Also try avoiding concluding with old and boring statement such as "in conclusion", for one major reason. It simply cuts your essay and if the grader was reading it abruptly interrupts his [calm and smooth] reading.
- 08/11/2007
- 14:24:29
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
If this essay is a formal one I recommend that you use third person and avoid using any first person writing style. But it is a good essay overall: clear, unbiased, informative, supports each argument; AA.
- 08/11/2007
- 14:14:46
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.