User Details For: dr molbray

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  • Down play of the gender issue

    I believe the fact that Kahu is a girl is significant to this story. The fact that only parts of tradition and culture are entrusted to gender groups the bittersweet characteristic of ancient cultures - the book touches on the decline of culture and emphasizes the fact the it is because of this gender and birth order requirement, that their culture and traditions are slipping away - WHo is the real purveyor of culture? thank God for strong characters like Nanny Flowers, that challenge social orders, the future is in safe hands if events like this occur
    • 02/07/2008
    • 23:12:49
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.

  • Good knowledge of the text

    It is obvious that you have read the book and have thought about your written response. It would have been easy to include some quotes from the novel to really support your opinions about the characters, for example, one of the most memorable quotes from this text is 'who will love you if your own mother doesn't?' (Beryl p 66) You write well and I would suggest you try to avoid the word 'got' and limit the number of contractions you use - it sounds silly but it does raise the quality of your writing and makes you sound a little more sophisticated - try it - you'll be surprised at the result!
    • 09/06/2008
    • 02:04:52
    • Score: 0 out of 1 people found this comment useful.

  • A GOOD ATTEMPT AT PLANNING

    The essay showed good thought and a clear understanding of the text, yet I feel that sentence structure and paragraphing need attention, - a little tip I found helpful when writing essays is T.E.E.L.T= Topic sentence, a clear statement regarding what you wish to discuss in this particular paragraphE= then provide an explanation about what you are trying to sayE= the second E is 'evidence' from the text and includes quotes and/or discussion about particular events/scenes in the text. These two E's can be entwined and presented in either order and are often repeated to provide more depth to the piece of writing. the final letter L = Link. The last lines of the paragraph should sum up what you were trying to address in your topic sentence, and tie the paragraph back to the purpose or the topic of the essay. It should then link you into the next paragraph.
    • 09/06/2008
    • 01:55:40
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.