This paper is really awesome! I'm writing a paper on W.C.W and how he was a modern poet. The out with the old, in with the new section was PERFECT, and some great information. thank you, thank you, thank you.
- 17/05/2003
- 20:47:57
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
The problem is not that it's a poorly written essay, but that it only begins to support your thesis. It would be a great composition to open up an essay but I feel this is not complete.
- 07/05/2003
- 13:02:27
- Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
I'm soooo sorry. The title of this short story is "Everything that Rises Must Converge" by Flannery O'Connor, not Emily Dickinson.
- 07/05/2003
- 11:00:19
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
Great essay that captures just about every aspect of the American Dream, or lack thereof, in The Great Gatsby. I did think it was a little bit of a stretch how you associated the West & East eggs with their actual egg characteristics and how you got the yolk as corruption and white as purity(Just my opinion, still a very interesting connection). Another comment: it can be said that the green light IS representative of the American Dream. It is symbolic of the hopes and dreams that people try to grasp and obtain for their future - for Gatsby it was Daisy. Nick actually mentioned tne green light and wondered how America was viewed by the aspiring immigrants.
- 06/05/2003
- 22:26:42
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
This is a decent essay, but I feel it is really just a long summary. Your thesis is probably that Animalism was a failed attempt in improving the standard of living, but for this specific argument, I feel that the evidence and bulk of the essay, while they do support the thesis to some extent, are not very specific and create a piece of work that seems much more like a long summary. I like where you intro and conclusion are getting at, it's just that you got into so much detail about the actual story; if I hadn't read the book already, the entire story is spoiled for me hehe. Nonetheless this is a good overview of what occurred.
- 06/05/2003
- 22:08:30
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
This essay really isn't that bad. Overall it gets the point across and it provides info that not too many people know about. One criticism is that there is a lack of an established thesis. The other commentator presumed that this essay was more focused on the actual American pilots of the war, while its main focus is their actual struggle to gain admittance. It may be hard to tell the actual central idea if you don't have a solid intro paragraph. Not a criticism, but something I'd like to know: why would Americans want to enlist on behalf of the French in the first place? Thanks.
- 05/05/2003
- 19:32:40
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
Good essay, I'm sold. It is true that flying is safer. I think that the fear of most people derives from the fact that their lives are in the control of another when flying. This is somewhat true when faced with a drunk/reckless driver on the other side of the road though. It's a good essay and I totally agree with your thesis and main points.
- 05/05/2003
- 18:45:00
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
Not bad creative writing. You stole a 10 dollar ring? Decisions, decisions. Anyway, the grammar is a little bit off(2 run-ons in the 1st paragraph), but otherwise it's not bad.
- 05/05/2003
- 18:36:45
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
This is a good essay rich with information. As an 8th grader it is a very good essay. In the future, just make sure you get your tenses straightened out. The beginning sentences should be in the past tense instead of the present. "Firstly" is not a word and a better transition might be "First, when ..." or "At first, when...". Good job and good luck.
- 05/05/2003
- 18:13:32
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
Although some of your points are valid and do make sense, this essay is hampered by poor grammar and reflects your cultural background(nothing wrong with that). Keep practicing and working at it. As you say, hard work and diligence is a very important characteristic.
- 05/05/2003
- 13:14:10
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
Yes, you do have some good points but the main thing that sticks out to me is that you start this essay by making a point of saying that school pride has yet to be defined. Your own definition is somewhat elusive. "Whatever it may be, students demonstrate pride in their school in various ways." You give information about school pride and what it involves throughout the entirety of the essay but do not give a clear cut definition of what it is even though that is one of the main purposes of your essay according to the thesis paragraph.
- 05/05/2003
- 11:10:18
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
This is essay is written fairly well but I think that the case you make for your thesis/argument(that with industrialization comes both positive and negative effects) is a little weak. Some of the pros and cons you provide don't really tie in with industrialization very well.
- 05/05/2003
- 10:59:46
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
This is a very interesting topic that helps us understand the influences of an illness and how these influences actually don't make our decision making process as irrational as one would think. Only thing is, is that without the title(which i hadn't seen) it's hard to figure out that you are specifically addressing the issue of Presidents who are in a state of depression until you get to the conclusion. A stronger thesis, in my opinion would make this so much better. Even in its brevity, it's well written... good job.
- 29/04/2003
- 19:24:31
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
I think this is a fairly good report. I actually think the information is pretty interesting and reveals the little known facts regarding a commonly spoken subject. It is very very informal, which isn't necessarily a downfall. I think in this case it makes for a good essay.
- 29/04/2003
- 18:50:56
- Score: 3 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
It's a very decent and respectable summary. The only thing is that the bulk of this composition does not correspond with or support the title and conclusion(that the book is better than the movie). Otherwise this is a good resource as a quick summary.
- 29/04/2003
- 18:04:26
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
The content is there and it is introduced very well. One minor problem is the introductory area (still can't figure out what it means due to grammatical errors). The conclusion, as well as the paragraph transitions are fairly weak. These are very minor and shouldn't affect this essay as a whole. Well done!
- 29/04/2003
- 17:37:47
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
Very good information on lightning. The actual style of writing is very simple and there really is no central theme but this is probably just a simple informative homework assignment. Well done.
- 28/04/2003
- 11:21:06
- Score: 7 out of 8 people found this comment useful.
This is a very formal/simple letter and it gets across its message and argument very well. The author empathized with the other side but gave reasons why she/he is steadfast in his/her beliefs. Nicely Done!
- 28/04/2003
- 11:14:37
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
Good information on a wide range of types of addictions. Very interesting how you grouped sex and drugs together. Well supported and to the point.
- 28/04/2003
- 07:55:38
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
This essay does bring light to the trials and tribulations of a working mother. Not to be critical, but the writing style is fairly simple and the tenses used are mixed up. Overall not bad.
- 28/04/2003
- 07:49:23
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.