User Details For: loopvinny

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  • lots missing, lots

    The religious aspect of Black Boy is blown out of proportion. There were so many key points in the book that were overlooked. You did not mention anything about the "communist" party Richard had joined. How about the effect his uncle had on him? Sure you mention the places that he lived, but go into somewhat of "detail". Mention the problems at school and how he gained acceptance. His father did not simply just leave!!! He left with another women!! At the beginning he picks up a lot of traits from the local "pubs". He expresses these traits throughout the entire novel. Anyone who believes that this book is about the oppression of the south and religious conflict totally missed the point. The book is about an internal struggle with himself. Sure society and his family have always been there, but there has never been any "permanent" aspect in his life. Change is the only thing he has ever known. The book is about his internal struggle; the south and religions reasons are merely dots in the big picture. So what i really want to say is, it was not just "women" that affected his life. I would like to urge the author of this "essay" into reading the book another time.
    • 21/03/2002
    • 20:23:46
    • Score: 6 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
  • so-so

    Avoid using 3rd person pronouns such as you and we. I am not too sure about your thesis. Don't start a thesis with but, and it tends to be a little drawn out. Make it short and to the point. You do not need all that information about gathering information(about the Big bang) in your thesis. Its exlained above and throughout your body paragraphs. Personally, i would have mentioned something about "quarks", involving the string theory, just to broaden the view. Re-read your essay 3-5 more times. I am sure you will pick up all the fragments and verbaige that was not utilized. Other than that, the essay was pretty good. The information seemed accesible to most of us, could get a little more technical. Try to stick to your topic sentence. Dont run off on ideas that do not pertain to what your are supposed to be talking about in specific paragraphs. take it easy
    • 20/03/2002
    • 18:05:43
    • Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.