User Details For: pixel_for_life

Essay List
Comments List
  • Good......

    Very thorough essay, you seem to have few spelling/grammatical errors. Awesome Job. You seem to know what you're talking about from the information you've given. All I can say is add a works cited to prove your information sources are credible!!!!!
    • 11/08/2004
    • 13:44:49
    • Score: 3 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
  • Good!

    I love how you make God's character seem non-threatening. There are some words misspelled throughout the script, but this would most likely be spoken and it wouldn't effect anything. You did well with how your characters related to one another and the passage of time. Good Job.
    • 10/08/2004
    • 02:16:16
    • Score: 7 out of 10 people found this comment useful.
  • Wow......

    This may be true in Europe, but in America, it really isn't. I'd have to disagree with your statements about napster users being pirates, regardless of intention, they're still pirates because they're downloading music that they don't have the rights to listen to if they didn't pay for it . Intent doesn't change the definition of piracy. Good structure, but you still have confused words and you use the expression "now days" in your writing often. Erm, last time I checked, using those two words together instead of nowadays isn't grammatically correct. You're writing how you speak, which isn't good for formal writing.
    • 30/06/2004
    • 13:03:26
    • Score: 4 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
  • Yay!

    Finally someone besides me who doesn't think homework is too bad. The learning is important, and if people want to go nuts about homework, please take my situation into consideration. I do at least 3 hours a night at most 5 hours, so don't complain. It's good for one in the long run. Watch your double negatives though, and you misspell a few words in certain places.
    • 29/06/2004
    • 16:45:11
    • Score: 3 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
  • Erm......

    Well, for one thing, the minorities aren't on a lower level than white people. In people's minds they are, but not that doesn't matter in the political world. It's all on paper. Good paper, but it could go more into detail.
    • 29/06/2004
    • 16:39:24
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Good points.....

    but you need to fix the grammar. You sometimes switch similar words like "your" as in possessive, and "you're" as in you are. Keep working!
    • 11/06/2004
    • 17:28:29
    • Score: 19 out of 23 people found this comment useful.
  • Good.....

    You define and discuss different aspects of the presidency well. Although your essay or rather definition list is quite short, you make every sentence count and fill your sentences with viable information. Good Job.
    • 10/06/2004
    • 00:37:12
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Yay!

    I'm glad to see a works cited! Okay, your essay could have been clearer beginning with the first sentence, but it flows pretty well and you can easily loop the parts of this paper together to form a respectable essay.
    • 10/06/2004
    • 00:32:47
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Hmm.....

    This is an excellent summary, it kept my attention the whole way through. You should have mentioned in the title you discussed the movie "Thirteen", because it's a discussion of Adolescent Development largely using the example of that movie. Good Job.
    • 10/06/2004
    • 00:23:23
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Good!

    This is a well-written and thorough analysis of the play "Getting Out" as well as a gripping comparison to regular society and what the "norm" is.
    • 10/06/2004
    • 00:16:22
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Wow.....

    Your essay is choppy due to the fact that the grammar in it confuses your ideas in a few sentences. Your concluding sentence doesn't make too much of an effort to sum up your point. The reason your concluding sentence should sum the essay or at least the paragraph up is so that people will REMEMBER what the paragrapy was about.
    • 10/06/2004
    • 00:05:53
    • Score: 1 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Hmmm......

    It's a good discussion of beauty. The ending could use work, as it doesn't sum up the paper, rather, it just states a fact about Keats.
    • 09/06/2004
    • 23:37:29
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Hmmm.......

    You have a brilliant story, but you could have submitted it in one story when it was finished, instead of submitting it piece by piece and then submitting the entire thing here. You're cheating the system by getting more points that way. But it is a well written story. Good.
    • 09/06/2004
    • 23:32:36
    • Score: 9 out of 9 people found this comment useful.
  • Good....

    This has well focused paragraphs, which one could easily link together to form a suitable essay. Also, be careful about possessive words. You leave the apostrophe out sometimes. Good Job.
    • 09/06/2004
    • 23:20:27
    • Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • To say the least

    .....You're acting like someone who has never experienced a divorce in their life. You're a lucky one if you haven't. Sometimes it's fighting or something that makes......well, people grow apart. There should be a sanctity to marriage yes, but forcing people to live together when they no longer want to is wrong as well. ....I just ask you to consider other viewpoints when you think of divorce. You make it seem like a terrible thing when sometimes it's just a well......release.
    • 09/06/2004
    • 13:22:15
    • Score: 9 out of 11 people found this comment useful.
  • Good.....

    Your essay has okay flow to it, but I see a few details that are repeated several times in the same fashion and you could make the essay more exciting by rewriting those sentences using active instead of passive voice. Good job overall.
    • 06/06/2004
    • 20:44:13
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Well done....

    Excellent analysis of the work. I particularly like how you go through line by line and analyze what it means.
    • 06/06/2004
    • 20:25:43
    • Score: 35 out of 42 people found this comment useful.
  • Okay...

    This essay is well written, I only have one suggestion to make. Never start an essay with, "This essay is about" or "In this essay, I would like to discuss", just give the topic you're going to discuss in the thesis. It makes your points more potent and makes your essay feel more focused.
    • 06/06/2004
    • 20:20:21
    • Score: 41 out of 76 people found this comment useful.
  • Hmm...

    beautiful poem, and don't mind lokisfenris. Lokisfenris is trying to convince everyone that this site is wrong to use and that it cheats you because you have to give up the copyright to your work. I do agree with his opinion though that this is a nice piece of work and it could be used for about any topic concerning love.
    • 06/06/2004
    • 17:25:16
    • Score: 9 out of 9 people found this comment useful.
  • Good story

    I'm glad you're continuing the plot line, but please submit in bigger pieces.
    • 03/06/2004
    • 19:02:00
    • Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • Good essay

    This essay presents solid facts in a tone that makes one feel excited about it yet still seems unbiased and gives the facts their own weight. Good job.
    • 03/06/2004
    • 18:39:47
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Nice,

    I did a paper on Aerobic respiration in the fall too. There's many more details that would have been potent that you could add, and some details that mean jack that are in your paper that you could leave out. Overall, good job for such a short analysis of aerobic respiration.
    • 03/06/2004
    • 18:18:45
    • Score: 4 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
  • Disturbing......

    but I like it. It's really short, but one could easily expand the plot line and wow. How can I say this any other way. Um. Nice visuals. You have a talent of painting with words. Good Job.
    • 03/06/2004
    • 18:11:30
    • Score: 13 out of 13 people found this comment useful.
  • Hmm......

    This is a good essay, except it doesn't really give acceptable reasons of why they should accept you. Those skills you listed are all unique shall I say, but they are generally not what colleges that aren't culinary arts school are looking for. If you find a non-culinary arts school that cares you can make a roast beef sandwich, email me!
    • 03/06/2004
    • 18:05:57
    • Score: 6 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
  • Wow.

    All this sounds like is an attack on the Ford Company. You throw out facts in such a manner that all you sound like is an angry child wanting to exact revenge. This essay doesn't look believable as there are many grammatical and spelling mistakes throughout the essay.
    • 03/06/2004
    • 17:59:27
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Profound

    It's an awesome poem that's profound and really makes one think about everything that's around them and that affects them.. Good job.
    • 02/06/2004
    • 17:31:42
    • Score: 24 out of 29 people found this comment useful.
  • Good essay...

    even though it could use paragraph spacing, it's got a nice flow to it. It makes an okay point, although it is entirely based upon opinion.
    • 01/06/2004
    • 18:19:26
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Good...

    you give hard solid facts to support your points. You leave out articles every once in a while, so watch for that, but overall good job.
    • 01/06/2004
    • 18:09:32
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Wow....

    The essay has a good flow, but don't ever say "everyone knows". There's always an exception, at least within the realm of planet Earth, so don't talk in absolutes. Good job otherwise.
    • 01/06/2004
    • 17:59:20
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Hmmm......

    You make several good points, but check the grammar, mechanics and spelling, it gets choppy and unfocused at points. Other than that, good job.
    • 01/06/2004
    • 17:52:07
    • Score: 3 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • Wow....

    It's a lot of empty filler and your subliminal message of repeating the name "Karma Sutra" will help sell the product in the future.
    • 01/06/2004
    • 13:34:21
    • Score: 6 out of 8 people found this comment useful.
  • Yay!

    The tone of this poem is that of someone crying out for society, and I agree with spoonman, that society isn't possible. It's a good dream however, and something I enjoyed reading.
    • 01/06/2004
    • 12:45:36
    • Score: 8 out of 9 people found this comment useful.
  • Touching...

    This is a really beautiful poem and story about the realization of people's shallowness or ability to look beyond what is on the surface. Good job.
    • 01/06/2004
    • 12:37:08
    • Score: 4 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
  • Woohoo...

    You put profound thoughts forward that not many people think about. It's a wonderful piece of literature that draws emotions and feelings forward. Awesome.
    • 01/06/2004
    • 12:30:51
    • Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • Yea....

    I agree with Courlove7 it has some well-written facts, but the order of organization should be changed so that it's more of an informational essay or more of a story essay. It's halfway in between and it just isn't working well.
    • 01/06/2004
    • 12:25:30
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Good....

    The only comment that's negative that I can make is that your concluding sentence loses the flow of the essay. It sort of ties the end of the essay to the beginning, but it becomes fuzzy. Good job with the flow of the essay and the information that you packed in.
    • 01/06/2004
    • 12:20:35
    • Score: 4 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
  • Good story...

    Your essay does a good job of BRIEFLY summarizing the life of T.S. Eliot.
    • 31/05/2004
    • 00:02:52
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Woah...

    For one thing, you use a negative connotation that society gives homosexuals throughout the essay, so in a way you're subliminally supporting the deriding of homosexuals. Another, format the paper so you can have a sense of flow throughout the paper. The spacing makes it seem long and choppy to read.
    • 30/05/2004
    • 23:52:52
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Um......

    Well, you start out the play by saying that Shakespeare "wrote" his own plays, which is true, but he's only creative in the sense that he worded them differently than everyone else. He actually took already well known stories and turned them into his own retelling of it. You do a good job analyzing the other plays though.
    • 29/05/2004
    • 00:06:27
    • Score: 5 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
  • Wow...

    You communicate good points, but your essay is fuzzy in some places because your grammar and mechanics aren't the best in the world. Okay job.
    • 27/05/2004
    • 23:04:03
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Good...

    But there are some grammar and mechanics issues you could work on. Also, with some formatting, your ideas could be more organized. You created a well-written essay that communicates your point well. Good Job.
    • 27/05/2004
    • 22:55:05
    • Score: 8 out of 8 people found this comment useful.
  • Good works cited

    The works cited links were useful! Good form on this essay.
    • 24/05/2004
    • 13:12:32
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Good Job

    I'm not a poetry fan, and I actually enjoyed reading this piece. This has good flow to it and it makes sense. You're right, the details are chilling.
    • 20/05/2004
    • 17:29:35
    • Score: 38 out of 44 people found this comment useful.
  • Hmm....

    Try a more "calm" approach next time. The mood that you're writing has taken says "I'm just an angry kid, and you better listen to me, because I'm right!" You throw a few facts in there, but the bitter anger is what comes across most.
    • 19/05/2004
    • 23:37:53
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Umm....

    This site is for resource "sharing". You're encouraging blatant cheating in the title. Based on the content of your essay, it's a good opinionative essay. It shows that you're really passionate about football.
    • 19/05/2004
    • 23:29:16
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Awesome

    You do a great job of tearing Wenke's essay apart. I agree with you, and when anti-cheating is forced into the curriculum, you're right, athletes and teachers just do go around the new rules. Your grammar, mechanics and spelling is extraodinary. Good job!
    • 19/05/2004
    • 23:21:15
    • Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
  • I agree

    I agree with SarahL that there are many points that you could have expanded on. You do a great job of cramming tons of information in a little essay though. Empty filler is the devil. Good job though. Also, a works cited for where you got all of this information would be nice, as I am assuming that you didn't pull it out of your head.
    • 19/05/2004
    • 23:16:08
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Hmmm.

    good for seventh grade. A small suggestion, take out the words: like, things, a lot, and intesifiers (extremely..etc.) It would make your writing look a lot cleaner. You should have put the paragraph about the author in the middle of the essay because once one gets to that, they want to read about the book still, and the author paragraph won\'t hold attention. Good Job.
    • 19/05/2004
    • 23:10:23
    • Score: 14 out of 19 people found this comment useful.
  • Awesome!

    For one thing, I'm glad to hear that Microsoft is finally taking action against Pop-ups. This essay is well written and flows. With the exception of a few redundencies, this essay is awesome! You explained the terms well and didn't use the technical terms, so that avoided confusion. Well done.
    • 19/05/2004
    • 23:03:24
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Good...

    The essay is well written, the only comment I could give is to not let it end so suddenly. One would have to know the terminology you were talking about to be able to understand the essay, but you explain terms you think wouldn't be known already well enough.
    • 17/05/2004
    • 18:05:49
    • Score: 2 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
  • Hmm...

    This is a good essay, the structure flows, but the context is confusing at points. Other than the fact the context blurs a bit from middle school to mission work, good job!
    • 17/05/2004
    • 17:47:58
    • Score: 2 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
  • Hmm

    I agree with ccmustangs2001, and I also live in the U.S.A., and I think the bill of rights in the USA does kinda run rampant with the freedoms it gives us, but the reason we have a bill of rights is to set forth the fact that the constitution is not perfect, and it can be changed. That's mainly what the Bill of Rights stands for. The right to change.
    • 03/12/2003
    • 23:19:15
    • Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
  • Yay

    It's always good to shut ferret down...ha.
    • 03/12/2003
    • 23:09:02
    • Score: 2 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
  • Erm

    Well, for one thing, never ever say "this essay is about", that's what your topic sentence is for. Another thing, there are fragments within your writing. I agree with Hoba, it does seem that you rushed on this essay. Next time, slow down and think. You did ok content wise, although it would be more convincing if you made it into paragraphs that were about the different types of contrast and what effects they had could possibly be another paragraph. It was okay.
    • 03/12/2003
    • 23:05:43
    • Score: 7 out of 9 people found this comment useful.
  • Hmm

    This essay is okay if you just want a bunch of filler sentences for a grade, but as hoba states, it needs more substance. You might try to use references, not just your own opinion, because in the world of education, facts, statistics, and citations go a lot farther than sheer opinion.
    • 03/12/2003
    • 22:54:29
    • Score: 2 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
  • Awesome story

    That's awesome! Your story really inspires me. You have proved you can make a difference, and this is an amazing story you should share with more people. Before sharing it, you may want to look it over for grammar errors, but good job!
    • 30/11/2003
    • 20:30:07
    • Score: 2 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Hmm...

    You use a nice story to illustrate your point. As others have wished, I also wish that never happens to you again. It had to be painful. You do a good job with the grammar and mechanics on this essay too, and it isn't in that bad of format.(It could always be improved though!)
    • 30/11/2003
    • 20:24:11
    • Score: 7 out of 9 people found this comment useful.
  • Hmm.....

    for this being so important to you, you said a "rat" describes a "perfectionist", yet you have several mistakes in your essay. YOu switch tenses, and you have plurals where things should be singular and vice versa. I kinda feel as if you are just saying the same thing over and over, and you're talking about society in general by talking about yourself...I'm sorry, but you can't represent the whole of society. Okay, but it could use a lot of work.
    • 29/11/2003
    • 19:50:14
    • Score: 1 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Moving

    This essay is moving, and it is pretty close to being grammatically correct most of the time. You put forth good points about hitler. Where did you get your quote from? YOu could have made a works cited!
    • 27/11/2003
    • 19:37:52
    • Score: 8 out of 8 people found this comment useful.
  • Touching

    that's really special. YOu do have some commas in bad places that you could fix, but other than that it's rather interesting.
    • 27/11/2003
    • 19:27:41
    • Score: 3 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • Wow

    strong essay, good points, terrible grammar.
    • 27/11/2003
    • 19:16:19
    • Score: 9 out of 10 people found this comment useful.
  • Hmm

    Well written, but obviously biased. YOu have given a lot of information about theBritish government, but it is obviously from a "commoners" point of view. It might of been interesting if you would have included how the high class sees what they are doing, if you know. Good Job.
    • 27/11/2003
    • 19:04:32
    • Score: 7 out of 8 people found this comment useful.
  • Erm

    The content is good, but be sure to check the grammar and sentence mechanics. You erm...put commas in the wrong places, and in general you use fragments. Try to improve.
    • 26/11/2003
    • 11:15:49
    • Score: 4 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
  • Good points

    You make some good points about the reconstruction, but was there anything bad that happened during the reconstruction? or was it all good? nice format.
    • 26/11/2003
    • 11:10:06
    • Score: 7 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
  • Good

    Good Job..I like the arguments you put forth, and also the works cited is a slam dunk! hehe...oh well..I hope to see you write more well written pieces like this in the future!
    • 26/11/2003
    • 11:06:38
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Well

    Your essay has some fragments in it, and some hard to understand places, but the content is good, now you just need to organize it and make it a well polished essay. Check for misspellings where you have used "their" instead of "there" especially. I hope to see you continue writing!
    • 26/11/2003
    • 11:01:24
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Wow.....

    Really awesome play.....had me entertained the whole way through..good descriptive stage directions too. I applaud your play! Keep writing.
    • 16/11/2003
    • 14:26:26
    • Score: 1 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Okay....

    Your essay has a nice flow, but the structure could be worked on. I agree with your definitions of politic power and authority, and we need more free-thinkers like you. Keep writing.!
    • 12/11/2003
    • 20:43:00
    • Score: 1 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Wow....

    I agree with courlove7.....just go back to middle school in general..I get the point you are trying to make, but you could have addressed it in a lot of different ways, not the "Non-smokers don't understand" point.
    • 11/11/2003
    • 22:18:00
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Okay.....

    first of all, you just cut and pasted other peoples work together...it's interesting, but clearly not yours....can you say plagarism?
    • 11/11/2003
    • 22:10:42
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Alright

    Special summary! I like how much of the essay is emotion even though you don't have to interpret it as emotions. YOu set a mood and stay with it. Nice paragraph structure, although you could sort out a few paragraphs by separating them into two separate ones. All totaled this is a well-written essay.
    • 11/11/2003
    • 14:38:52
    • Score: 6 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
  • Hmmm......

    The other people's comments are right, so I won't repeat them, but your essay was a good descriptive essay, even if it wasn't logical at times. I would urge you to continue writing and submitting, even if you don't agree with people's criticism. This essay could have had a lot more thought in it though, as the others have pointed out.
    • 10/11/2003
    • 20:07:36
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Hmmm

    interesting sum up of peer pressure, but you could develop it a bit more. The paragraph structure you are going for is a bit unclear, and you could incoporate your thesis into the conlusion paragraph. You did spell things correctly,(except in some cases where you used the symmetrical key on the keyboard instead of the correct letter). and I didn't see very many punctuation mistakes. Good.
    • 10/11/2003
    • 09:52:09
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Okay

    Actually, I agree with some of your opinions, but you have to look from your administrators point of view too. If they let you off campus, you're an insurance liability. Also, if they let you off campus, they're responsible for you, so if you do something such as hold up a convience store, they're responsible. You have a few punctuation errors, but those can be fixed. All in all, well written essay!
    • 10/11/2003
    • 09:39:57
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Hmmm........

    I can see the points you make, but I don't entirely agree with your points. See, I attend a boarding military high school, which may be a bit different from actual service, but the ideas are the same. If a woman can't be subjected to the same conditions as men in training, how are we ever supposed to survive combat? Training should know no gender. There should be rules about people getting involved, and you should express your feelings to your unit, not on some cheat site. Anywayz, good essay...there were parts where you had bad punctuation....you started the essay with a lower case letter, but all in all you did well.
    • 09/11/2003
    • 20:22:17
    • Score: 6 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
  • Good essay

    This is well written, and you have a nice touch on it. Writing in first person is not always good for an informative essay though. You have citations throughout the paper, but where is the works cited? Good essay.
    • 09/11/2003
    • 13:26:41
    • Score: 2 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Erm........

    You may want to think about paragraph structure a bit more. You give good information. All in all a well written essay, just think about separating it more into paragraphs.
    • 09/11/2003
    • 13:22:14
    • Score: 2 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Erm.....

    good essay. YOu make good points....but your essay needs a better ending. overall a well written essay though. I hope to see more from you. Splendid.
    • 09/11/2003
    • 07:52:23
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Okay.

    the essay is excellent gramatically except for one confusing sentence, but the structure could have been different, which would also have made it, the essay, more organized. The content is good. It's nice how you incorporated statistics...but where did you get them from ....(aka..do you have a works cited?)
    • 08/11/2003
    • 17:00:34
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Darn

    you give random facts throughout the essay, but you don't explain through example quite why it's important. The ending needs work. I don't think you were intending to ruin the ending or leave a cliffhanger, which is what you did. It makes the readers wonder "how".
    • 07/11/2003
    • 18:29:55
    • Score: 7 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
  • Good..

    the essay is pretty well structured, but it has grammar and spelling problems. It makes interesting points about how a student cheats, and its interesting you didn't mention a site that could give the answers.
    • 07/11/2003
    • 18:22:09
    • Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
  • Okay.....

    your essay is pretty well written content wise, but you need a bit more of an introduction. Maybe introduce the character Commodus by telling us who he is and what his role in life was.
    • 06/11/2003
    • 19:59:00
    • Score: 18 out of 19 people found this comment useful.
  • Wonderful essay....

    Your essay is wonderful, except for the "in this paragraph I am going to" part. Don't ever write that in an essay, find another way to introduce the information. Other than that you make excellent points and your essay is well structured.
    • 06/11/2003
    • 15:43:05
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Okay

    This is an okay essay, it gives a lot of information and isn't too hard to read. For your grade level it seems to be well written too. You might want to consider revising your final paragraph so it draws the entire essay together, and doesn't give what seems to be new information.
    • 06/11/2003
    • 05:37:55
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Good essay

    This essay holds my attention, and it is told from an interesting perspective. Well done. I could riff you on your grammar, but I don't really see anything that immediately jumps out at me like "I need to be fixed" You could leave everything as is and not fix the fine details and it would be fine...I hope to see more writing like this from you.
    • 05/11/2003
    • 20:16:30
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Wow.....

    Your essay has good facts, but they mean almost nothing because they don't seem organized....you give no introduction, so I have no clue as to where you were going with this essay..where is your thesis? I couldn't find that either. I feel like you just threw a bunch of facts on the screen in a random order and frankly when I read your paper I feel like I am getting whiplash from your rapid start and change of topics. You need to develop your content a bit more to..elaborate on what some of the facts in your essay mean.
    • 05/11/2003
    • 20:08:39
    • Score: 3 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • Good essay

    You actually have an intelligent essay. It makes intelligent points and discusses them thoroughly. The only part of your writing I could tell you to improve on is your spelling and grammar. It becomes a bit shuffled at points in the essay, and you have to change some tenses in your mind when reading this to have it stay in one tense, but otherwise your essay is excellent. I hope to read more essays from you.
    • 05/11/2003
    • 20:02:14
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Hmmm.....

    You do make some valid points, but this essay doesn't want to make me jump up and do anything. I mean, yes you do want to save the babies, but did you ever think of what it is like to be in the foster homes and orphanages, what about those babies who will suffer in a dumpster for several days before dying of starvation? How about the kids who end up in abusive homes because their parent didn't give them up? What about the mother who dies in birth because she couldn't abort the baby. Also, your structure could have been different, because you have a weak conclusion...it's almost like a book...you have a climax and then falling action, which you don't want with an essay...you should end with the climax strong in the readers mind so to speak...
    • 02/11/2003
    • 19:27:12
    • Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • Hmm....

    that was absolutely chilling, and vivid, with a kinda disappointing ending, because it happens in so little detail, and it is kinda abrupt.
    • 02/11/2003
    • 16:59:37
    • Score: 35 out of 42 people found this comment useful.
  • Wow...

    This essay is really well written content wise. The grammar and mechanics could be better, but the content really makes up for it....I do disagree with you in one respect though...you aren't expected to get the best grades in the class....preps don't usually. Characteristically, the nerds are supposed to have the highest GPA.
    • 02/11/2003
    • 15:45:43
    • Score: 5 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
  • Good......

    It's a well-written essay, with numerous facts in an organized order. I hope to see more essays from you! Although there is no citations, which you should have..it's okay.
    • 01/11/2003
    • 14:20:11
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Hmm.....

    Well, you don't have the best essay structure in the world but you can improve it. Your concluding sentence doesn't sum the paper up, and what could be your introductory paragraph is smushed with what could be your first paragraph. Other than that, the content was okay to read!
    • 31/10/2003
    • 19:50:54
    • Score: 1 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Hmm......

    Even though this is an essay of pure facts and statistics, it is biased. You can tell you don't want him to be president because you didn't write any positive facts about him. If you want it to not seem biased next time, put in positive facts. Also, it would have been better if you could have strung the entire essay together, instead of just giving the facts in sections. I mean, it's an okay basic outline, but there are no ways that all of these facts are connected except they are all about Howard Dean in some way. I am really disappointed in the way this was formatted, but if you would have done it so that you didn't seem so biased and it was in better essay format instead of a sorta outline with paragraphs in the outline format, your essay would have been a lot better!
    • 30/10/2003
    • 17:53:02
    • Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • OMG!

    This essay has so much emotion to it. It is so poignant that I want to cry! Wonderful essay, even though it is short. I guess it is content rather than length that should matter, but both are good. Awesome essay!
    • 27/10/2003
    • 13:50:22
    • Score: 4 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
  • Wow

    This essay truly makes me think of the effects of drugs, and it also makes me feel sorry for Judy Garland, and angry at drugs for being out there before effects are known. This essay has wonderful structure and holds attention, and I hope you write many more!
    • 26/10/2003
    • 18:50:42
    • Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • Awesome

    This is an excellent essay on how perception relates to thoughts, feelings, etc. I hope to see more essays like this, that have personal thoughts substantiated by examples and evidence.
    • 25/10/2003
    • 19:51:38
    • Score: 2 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • Awesome!

    Really well written essay. I hope to see more!
    • 25/10/2003
    • 19:26:53
    • Score: 7 out of 8 people found this comment useful.
  • Okay...

    This essay has two brilliant sections on how each book is, but it hardly compares how the two are alike. You don't draw the connection between the two and the two you did draw weren't substantiated.
    • 25/10/2003
    • 19:09:31
    • Score: 3 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • Great Essay

    Wow it is really powerful...had me convinced we need to do something about police brutality...!
    • 25/10/2003
    • 09:02:32
    • Score: 3 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • Hmm.....

    The sentences seem good......and I think the content of the essay draws a good conclusion....and it the structure flows well.
    • 25/10/2003
    • 08:46:37
    • Score: 3 out of 4 people found this comment useful.