Albert Einstein and his theories
You may think you know everyone, but you may not. If you think your smart, think again. Albert Einstein was on eof the world's smartest mindes ever! Now, I think I'm pretty smart but when it comes to Einstein, he has more brains in his head than in two people combined.
I researched Albert Einstein because he seemed very interesting to me. I wanted to find out how Albert Einstein's intelligence helped develop nuclear weapons? I will answer this question throughout my essay.
Albert Einstein's first real friend came when he tried to save a baby stork; Max Talmey helped him. He was his friend for a very long time. He often had dinner with the Einstein's at their home.
When Albert Einstein moved to the United States, he wrote a letter to President Franklin D. Roosevelt. The letter told him about Germany developing a nuclear weapon; so, he urged the development of a nuclear weapon in the United States of America.
Albert Einstein and his wife Elsa Einstein, and Zi...
English: Albert Einstein Français : Portrait d'Al...
English: Albert Einstein, official 1921 Nobel Priz...Albert Einstein was born in Ulm, Germany, on March 14, 1879. When Albert was an infant his family moved to Munich, Germany. While growing up in Munich, Germany, Albert thought that he didn't need school. His parents were non-observant Jews so they didn't say much.
His family owned a business and when if failed in 1894 his family moved to Milan, Italy. Also, in 1894 he gave up his German citizenship when he move to Italy.
In 1985, Albert Einstein dropped out of secondary school. After that he took an examination for a class that wuld lead to a diploma, he failed the test miserably. When he got to college he finiseh with a diploma as a secondary school teacher in mathematics and physics.
In 1905, Albert Einsein published 4 papers. His...
Comments
This essay strated your interest in the subject; however, your writing was poor. To begin, your introductory paragraph did not effectively convey what your essay was about. Additionally, it contained superfluous personal references. Not to mention the spelling mistake ("mindes" should be "minds"), and the contraction error ("I'm" should be "I am"). The contraction error notably coincides with the error of making personal references. The second paragraph also contained superfluous personal references; however, I am more consider with your usage of the question mark. You stated, "I wanted to find out how Albert Einstein's intelligence helped develop nuclear weapons?," which is a statement. This having been said, the question mark should be replaced with a period. If you want to keep the question mark, then rephrase the statement (eg. "It is my intention to discover the answer to the following question: How did Albert Einstein's sagacity assist in the development of nuclear weapons?"). In your third paragraph, you mentioned Einstein's first real friend (Max Talmey); however, the sentence you used: "Albert Einstein's first real friend came when he tried to save a baby stork; Max Talmey helped him," does not clearly identify Max Talmey as this friend. Additionally, in this paragraph, "in the company of Einstein and his wife," sounds slightly better than, "with the Einstein's."
Your fourth paragraph was not great, but I feel it was good enough to avoid touching on. In the fifth paragraph, a paragraph should come after "infant." Also, the reader has already been told that Munich is in Germany, so try to avoid using "Germany" twice in this paragraph, as it is simply superfluous. "Didn't" is another contraction error; it should be "did not." Finally, you should have placed a comma after "Jews." There is a great deal more corrections to be pointed out; however, my hands are aching, so I will leave the rest of the work to other individuals. I leave you with this: "Never stop making attempts to broaden your literary progress, as such a discontinuation can prove dismal in the end."
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