I read the article Alcohol and Teen Drinking. I found this at the following website: http://www.focusas.com/Alcohol.html. I was kind of surprised by what I read and about the ages of the people that start drinking. I think that parents aren't taking enough action in their children's lives and that contributes to part of the reason that drinking is starting at such a young age. There should be programs to inform parents about the dangers of drinking and how to get involved in their lives.
There is an epidemic in the United States, one that is very sickening, and disturbing. The epidemic I am speaking about is alcoholism amongst teenagers. This has become one of the more alarming problems facing the country today. More and more youth's are going toward drinking now than ever before and there doesn't seem to be a stop coming anytime soon.
The average age for starting drinking now, for males is 11, and for females, it is 13 years old.
English: An American Lady butterfly against a clou...
A Kranz (wreath) of Kölsch beer.
7338 - Moscow - Bolotnaya Proshad - Children are t...The National Institute of Alcohol Abuse estimates that people who begin drinking before the age of 15 are nearly 4 times as likely to become dependent on it as they grow up as are people who began drinking at the age of 21. This is very alarming, and needs to be stopped as soon as a solution can be found.
The estimate being used is that three million teenagers are out-and-out alcoholics today. There are also estimates that several million more have a serious problem that they can't cure on their own. The three leading causes of death for persons between the ages of 15 and 24 are car wrecks, homicide, and suicide, all of which are related in some way to alcohol usage. Alcoholism is also connected to mental disorders such as depression,
The intro needs work
Like dross said, you need to fix up your introductory paragraph. Your first sentence is incredibly boring. It would make for a much better essay if you could come up with an interesting statistic that could grab the readers attention.
Then the next three sentences all start with "I". This is a big no-no in writing, epecially when you do it repeatedly. Always try to avoid that if possible.
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