Eliminating The Opposite Sex

Essay by PaperNerd ContributorCollege, Undergraduate November 2001

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It all started about two weeks ago when the one I loved blatantly rejected me. Or if that wasn't plain enough for you, I got dumped. Getting your heart broken is not something new; it happens to everyone at some point in time. Feelings of depression and guilt consume your every thought. The question that lingers is usually the same with every relationship. Did I do something wrong? Unless you broke trust in your relationship the answer in most cases is no. The reason I believe my girl left me is just plain and simple incompatibility. The process of finding the right person can be a difficult task due to the fact there are so many single people that are not right for you. Since my recent break up, I have given some serious thought to what kind of person is right for me. To find a perfect mate, I have to decide if that person is loyal, ambitious, and a free spirit.

One of the first things I look for in a friend or a mate would have to be loyalty. I'm pretty sure most of us have confided in someone we thought was our friend and turned out to be the enemy in disguise. You may ask, how do I know if a person is going to be loyal? Well, honesty is very important when it comes to loyalty. Pay attention to the person you are eyeing as a potential companion. Does he/she seem to be making up stories about themselves to show off? If so, this could be a sign of a liar or someone with a big insecurity problem. I would suggest keeping your distance if you are planning on pursuing this person. You could be the one to end up getting hurt. If a man or woman can't be honest with himself or herself, how can they be honest with you? Another trait of loyalty would have to be the ability to understand that no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. Men do not think before they speak. We may let words that we do not mean come out of our mouths but please don't hold that against us. Men need a chance to rephrase ourselves. One of the biggest mistakes in a relationship is breaking trust. It takes forever to gain trust but it only takes a second to lose forever. You can lose trust in a relationship with compulsive lying or cheating by having sexual interaction with someone other than your partner. If you hear about somebody cheating, the best thing to do is keep that in your permanent memory and keep your relationship with that person at a protective distance.

The second trait I look for in a potential mate is ambition. I think everyone likes to be around someone with high goals. Surrounding yourself with positive people should raise the bar and make you strive to be the best you can be. From my experience I have found that people who are attending college generally have a better outlook on life than those who are not. Therefore, the person I end up with must have a college education, but keep in mind many people have been very successful and never got a college degree. When you are looking for your match, think about your goals in life and look at where each of you sees yourself in the future. To have ambition a person must be deeper than a college degree. I have seen plenty of people get out of college, just to go to work as a manager of Hardee's. I want my companion to work in the field from which they graduated. Ambition is the constant quest for self-improvement, and wanting more than average for yourself and your family. I think everyone has ambition to an extent; some people just have more than others.

A free sprit is also a good quality to look for in a potential partner. When I say free sprit, keep in mind that the person must be honest. Free spirited people usually can light up a room and keep things fun and interesting in a relationship. Most people have this outgoing trait inside of them; they just need someone to pull it out in the open. A good test of a free sprit is to take your prospective mate around your friends and family to see how they interact. If he/she can be comfortable in an uncomfortable situation, they might be spontaneous enough to be a free sprit. These people are usually independent leaders with ability to refrain from peer pressure. Knowing that everyone can get off track in his or her lives, it probably wouldn't be a bad idea to have someone to help you get back on track when you derail.

Relationships are often too long and painful for a lot of people. That's why some people decide to stay single. I haven't experienced everything yet, but I have just enough under my belt to know what I like. I hope someday I do find my perfect mate. Notice that I left the looks of a particular companion out of this paper. I did this because when I find the girl that has all of these traits, she will be beautiful to me!