A Fake Celebrity Autobiography, Written for my Writer's Craft Class. John Crook is a Washed-up 1970s Actor.

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Calling the Shots: Booze, Broads and Everything in Between

By John Crook

Chapter 3: The Big Break

If it wasn't for Jack Palance, I probably wouldn't be where I am today. It was 1965, I had just come to Hollywood from Iowa. You've probally heard tale's like it a hundred times, small time boy comes to the big city and hopes to make it big, luckily for me I was in the right place at the right time. Who would have ever thought that the day I played a ranch hand on "Green Acres" would change my the rest of my life.

It was just supposed to be a small walk on with two lines, my job was to run in and yell, "Look sir, Look sir, Arnold dun eat all the grits". For anyone else it would have been a nothing role, everyone knows the pig always steals the show, there's no glory in that.

However, unbeknownst to me, Jack Palance was on the set that night searching for young talent to play bit parts in his directorial debut, "Rifles for Texas". I remember how impressed he was by my Midwest accent, he kept wanting to know if it was real, I told him it was and before I knew it, we were having drinks.

The tab must have set old Jack back a pretty penny that night, we must have finished off at least a couple bottles of scotch. I have no idea what happened that night, but it sure was a surprise when I was awoke to a call from my agent congratulating me on getting one of the lead roles in "Rifles for Texas".From then on my life would never be the same, the studio signed me to a contract and I made one picture...