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The Deterioration of a Marriage

Chapter 11

According to Dr. Niolan a psychologist, marriages fall apart after "10-12 years due to loss of intimacy and connection." Tom and Katie have been married for five years. Kate is beginning to feel as though Tom is not listening to her and ignoring her when she talks to him. Tom becomes more of an irritation to her than someone to love. All the things that they have set up that symbolized normalcy and unity in their marriage is beginning to fall away. They start to avoid each other; coldness creeps into each other as they stop communicating with each other and begin to grow further apart. These actions or rather non actions towards each other will lead to the ending of their marriage. Katie has a night out with her friends and spends the evening discussing how Tom is not who he was any more.

She degrades him in front of her friends, Instead of talking about where their relationship is lacking. Meanwhile, Tom who is at home is on the phone with his brother, talking about his relationship with Katie, how she doesn't communicate with him anymore. She is always too busy to spend time with him.

Tom and Katie have now separated and are beginning to tell people why there relationship did not last. They are moving on with their lives, they see themselves as single and have reorganized their life. Tom and Katie's relationship is an example of the deterioration of a marriage. The deterioration of a marriage can be classified into five steps, the first step is the intrapsychic processes, followed by the dyadic processes, and then social support, and grave dressing processes, and then the final step the resurrection processes (Wood, 2010).