The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate

Essay by chickey_001University, Bachelor'sA, January 2009

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Dr. Gary Chapman's book, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, reveals that each person, as an individual, has their own unique way of expressing how they feel toward others. There are frequent incidents where two people, who have been brought together in marriage, have two different perceptions on how love should be expressed. This then will lead to arguments and hurt feelings as one spouse may not be receiving the proper love language that they need. Sometimes, the giver of the love doesn't realize that the way they are delivering their love to the receiver isn't actually proving their love, in the eyes of the receiver. This causes many problems in relationships and can often lead to a divorce or a break-up. According to Dr. Gary Chapman, there are five basic love languages that people are to be aware of in their relationships.

These are: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.

The first love language is words of affirmation. This language is based on the words we use to encourage one another. Dr. Chapman states, "Encouragement requires empathy and seeing the world from your spouse's perspective" (45). It is often that your spouse, whose primary love language is words of affirmation, will need you to give them verbal compliments to express yourself towards them. By doing this, you are showing them that you are empathetic towards their special needs and desires.

Quality time is the second love language mentioned in this book. Through this section of the book, we learn that it is important for us to let our loved ones know how much we enjoy spending time with them. A good way of coming about this is by simply spending more one-on-one time with your...