The girl of my dreams

Since I was a little boy, I always dreamed of falling in love. I always desired to meet the girl of my dreams and one day, hopefully, to marry her. I never imagined she would appear in my life the day I least expected it. In the tenth grade, I used to go to the mall every day after school. I started meeting new people and eventually they became my friends. But it wasn’t until February 19th, 2006 that I saw something amazing. I was at the mall and I saw this beautiful young lady that filled my eyes with obsession. She had an appealing body; she had green eyes like an untouched rain forest; her face was astonishing, I could have taken her to participate in model competitions and she would have won. The first thought to knock on my head was “This girl has to be mine”.

Little did I know, the girl was attracted to me as well.

felt flower

Deutsch: Filzhut

English: Felt Polski: Filc Magyar: Nemez

That day I entered my room and locked the door. I started thinking about how this girl messed up my head so profusely. I did not know what happened to me. The next day I thought it would all be over. I was wrong. I kept thinking about how well formed she was and how bad I wanted to see her. At mid-day Tuesday, I convinced myself that I had to see her again.

So as soon as class ended I rapidly made my way towards the mall, hoping that I had the chance to see her at least one more time. The girl didn’t go to the mall that day. Lucky me, I knew one of her good friends. I told him all about my forbidden feelings for his friend. He said “She feels the same way about you”. I was so happy. I had never felt happier in my life.

I went home and cleaned the garage, mowed the lawn and washed all my neighbor’s cars. The funny thing about all these things is that I would never be happy enough to do chores willingly. That same day, the boy called me and told me she was right next to him, that she wanted to talk to me. He put her on the phone. As soon as I heard that sweet and sensitive voice I realized I had to impress her. I had to make her think I was good at everything because I was already afraid of losing her even though I still didn’t have her. We agreed to meet each other at some point.

As we planned, we met at the movie theater right next to the mall. Two months later we were in a serious relationship. I met her family and she met mine. I noticed that what I had with her was what I had always been looking for. This was how I imagined my first true love. When we dated around 3 months, we decided to go the beach at night. That night we promised we would never leave each other. I remember how every piece of the forsaken puzzle was building up and falling in the right place at the right time. A week later, we decided to explore our physical feelings. That night, I fell in love. The most beautiful and sincere feeling of my life had bloomed like a flower in spring. It was so special. It was an unforgettable night for the history of my life. Everything was perfect.

My family thought she was a great girl. Every day they asked me if I had seen her. I knew they were overwhelmed in a good way. I knew they were happy to finally see me explore my inner feelings. Oh so I thought. A couple of months later, I heard my family saying hurtful things about my girlfriend like “she doesn’t deserve our boy”. Things got bad after that. I would fight with them every single day for the same reason.

I was always trying to convince them. I would tell them the truth about my girlfriend. She was a good girl; in fact she was a great girl. She meant no harm to any of us. I felt unsupported and to be honest, I felt the two faces of the world. How it can one day act like your friend and the next day do things a trusted person shouldn’t do. But that’s when everything around me started to fall, and the big “L” word was not what it once meant to me. After thirteen months we finally broke up. I was so confused. I couldn’t even find a good reason to define why I was no longer with the girl of my dreams.

About a week later I found out she was already dating another guy. I couldn’t get a good memory into my brain to heal the pain that was in me. All I had in my mind was hate and disgust. The rate of my grades decreased. I felt so different from what I had ever felt. Bad thoughts were running through my mind. But surprisingly, she made an appearance at my house. The reason she went to my house that day was because she said she felt depressed about not having me by her side any more. We spent around 6 hours talking about what we were going to conclude of our situation. I told her we couldn’t get back together because she had a new partner. She said she was no longer with him. I still refused to get back together with her. My final answer was NO.

Months later, I spent every single day regretting not getting back together with her. It is until this day my parents don’t want me with her. I still miss her. It’s been two years since I last saw her. I act normal on the outside but that girl will never leave my heart. I’ve grown psychologically during these past two years. I love her still. I will never forget my first true love, the girl of my dreams.

Man thinking on a train journey.

Thinking

Heal the Pain