Gladiators

I wood have to disagree with Jamiec520 it has a good opening but bad conclusion. I would grade this with a Green Smiliey Being he or she is only in 7th grade. compared to other people in high school this is really good.

Although you gave some grammar errors and as everyone else agrees, your sentence structure needs work;however, to be in the 7th grade, I think you did an excellent job. I have seen college papers that weren't close to this. Keep it up!

Great knowledge base, however, it could have used a works cited.

Smiley, Hoba is right, the grammar and spelling do need work. The idea is to give constructive criticism, not for you to nit pick and give bitchy comments to the people who make small typo's in their intelligent advice on the work in question.

The essay needs work, not Hoba's comments!!!

You do not rate an essay based on how good it is relative to the grade of the writer. The rating shows how good a paper is, and this paper does not deserve the rating it has recieved. Correct me if i'm wrong, and i don't want to be the jerk, but this paper would give you nothing more than reading a summary on the movie on blockbuster.com or what not... very, very little depth

-nate

The essay has a weak opening and no conclusion, but over all the body of it is not bad.

to be fair, if you are going to comment on grammar and spelling, you should check your own first. Scrapes not scraps!

I'm afraid... whether someone is in 7th grade or not, this sort of essay should not be posted on this site. Forget about the grammar, the essay is written as if it were a factual text on the subject of gladiators. As it stands, the essay is based almost entirely on the film, which is quite obviously a fictitious account. for example the killing of Commodus, which to the best of my knowledge was accomplished through the hiring of a professional wrestler. Obviously I would expect most people to realise this. My fear rather is for the fellow 7thgrader that uses this false information as a basis for his own work. As a study tool I should hope that more effort would go into the verification of posted material.

I know that I didn't write this well when I was in seventh grade. Can I even remember that far back?...oh, well...anywho...


While there is room for improvement in this paper grammar wise, especially employing conjunctions; and fundamentally wise also by the information provided which could go further in depth. But for a seventh grader this is an excellent paper.


Good Job.

The structure needs work. It doesn't flow correctly. I agree that the introduction is poor. It has no transition from one sentence to the other. It is basically short statements grouped together. This needs to be proof-read. ExpertMaster - read it aloud to yourself and then you will see some places that dont sound right....well then you should change them. I'll give this essay an 80%, which just scraps in for a smiley face....but still this could be better.

Your essay is overall quite good but it is a little short...